30 July 2007

Chapter 28: Life = Chaos. [Four years, and what it's taught me...]

[Currently playing: 'Teardrop' by Massive Attack featuring Liz Fraser, formerly of The Cocteau Twins.]

Sometimes, life is just plain chaos.

Today brought me a few new doses of thinking-through, as the 4-year anniversary of my first day at McDonald's draws near [it's next Monday, to be exact]. Four years have gone by, and, I can honestly admit that I'm much smarter, much wiser now, than when I first started. And looking back, these past four years have really taught me a lot.

To start, my family.

- My family loves me, no matter what stupid scrape I get into. Though there are some things that should never be discussed at the family dinner table.

- My family is my family, no matter who's in it, or how odd they are.

- Sometimes, the best person in my corner is a family member.

- No matter what happens, I'll always be Dad's little girl. Always. Even if his big little girl has blue hair.

- Parents have had their rebellion phase in some time or another.

- Sometimes, parents don't always know how much they influence their children. [Example: Dad's sarcasm. And that has rubbed off on me A LOT!!]

- Sometimes, Mom and Dad are my best friends.

- Even when at times they get me mad to the point that I want to throw a pillow at them all and tell them to chill out, I still love my family. They're my family. They're my blood.

...Next up, work.

- Not everybody's going to agree with me.

- *NEWS FLASH* The customer is NOT always right!!

- Managers CAN BE good friends, advisors, and mentors.

- Managers can ALSO be absolute pains in the neck.

- Sometimes, your Managers, Team Leaders/Junior Managers and Coworkers stand between you and a deathwish.

- Work isn't your life, but it can be.

- Some of the dearest people to me are my regular customers--they allow me to be myself, to tell it how it is, because they can relate. They know that feeling. They understand where I'm coming from, because they've been there. [Well, most of them, anyway.]

- System = pain in the ass.

- My Supervisor is actually one of the wisest people I know. [And I'm not just saying that because he's the one who hired me!!]

...And now, love.

- Loyalty is a very, VERY important virtue. Right up there with trust and respect.

- Even if the majority of the men in this world is looking for nothing more than a good getting-laid, there is someone out there for me in this world.

- Men can/will/do misunderstand me. It's aggrevating beyond words.

- My boyfriend and I are a bit opposite, and yet we're quite alike. It's pretty cool, actually.

- Guys can be God's gift to women.

- Guys can also be absolute *insert plural expletive of choice here*.

- Requited love is, actually, my dream. To love, and to be loved in return, for who you are, and for being true to who you are and who you love. Requited love = absolute bliss.

- The love I give to others is returned to me, often, in very small doses.

...The next topic: friends!

- Friends are better than gold!!

- A true friend is someone who walks in when the rest of the world walks out. [Forgot who said that, but it's very, very true.]

- Friends: better than candy!!

- A good friend can actually bring a laugh, a shoulder to cry on, and a listening ear. All they gotta do is just simply be there.

- A good day out is usually best spent with friends. Usually.

- Sometimes friends just don't get it. And that's actually okay!!

...And finally, life in general.

- Being shy is a bitch.

- Life isn't fair. Never was either.

- I can't change the whole world, but I can at least change my corner of it.

- Society as a whole has a way of fitting in: 'Look like us, act like us, think and speak and live like us, and you will belong.' To which sometimes the best way to respond, in my true blue-haired manner, is to tell the world to simply fuck off [whether spoken or with the infamous fingers] and, in the spirit of Howlin' Pelle Amqvist of the Hives, say 'Hey! Would you like lemon or lime with that piece of advice, Mister!?' [By the way, that also works well with any persuing male that just doesn't get the meaning of Look, I'm not interested, you're not my type. And I have a boyfriend anyway. Now go away! Tried that once!!]

- And anyway, I'd rather be myself to be loved by others. In the end, I answer to my Creator, and not to society.

- God will always love me, forgive me, and be not-too-far from me. Even when He seems distant at times.

- No matter how depressed I get, suicide is not the answer. It's just not worth it.

- When life throws you lemons, make lemonade, sell it, and make mucho moolah.

- Sometimes it's worth going to the walk-in cooler to just scream. You feel much better when you get out.

- Friendship is not just local: it's also global.

- Life is but once. After this it's all eternity.

...so as you can imagine, I have actually grown up quite a ways these past 4 years. And I'm only getting started. I have a whole lifetime to go. But I can't wait for the journey.

I'm not alone on this. I have God, His Son, and His Spirit. I have my family, my fellow Crew. I have Mike, Pouncer, my fellow NOOLers and Angels. I have the people I know and love and think of and care about and pray for each and every day.

I'm not alone.

Stephen Morris supposedly wrote the song 'Procession' [one of the best New Order songs, ever!], and I think it's worth posting in here, because some of the lyrics fit this thing called life so perfectly...

'Procession' [New Order]

There is no end to this
I have seen your face
But I don't recognize all these things
You must have left behind

It's a problem, you know
That's been there all your life
I try to make you see the world without you
That just so black and white

At night it gets cold and
I'd dearly like to turn away
The escape that fills
that makes you want to turn on heel
Alone, alone, alone, alone

There is no end to this
I can't turn away
Another picture but the scene
It's still the same

There is no room to move
Or try to look away
Remember, life is strange
The life keeps getting stranger every day

I try so hard but this attitude's
A type that won't subside
No matter what they say
Remember your heart beats you day and night

Your heart beats you day and night
Your heart beats you day and night
Your heart beats you day and night


If that doesn't fit life like it does, I don't know what else to say.

Until the next round...

~ 'Sunshine'

29 July 2007

Chapter 27: Oh oh... again!! [More to say. This time, music!]

[Currently playing: 'Cities in Dust' by Siouxsie and the Banshees.]

Surprisingly, I feel like posting a music blogpost. No, seriously.

When you're someone who's grown up listening to music damn near all your life, chances are, you're bound to find a soundtrack to your life. I seem to have one, but it's a bit, erm, unique actually. And let's be honest here--we all have a soundtrack to our own lives. It's unique, like our DNA or genetic code or whatever it is that makes you, well, you. And each song in your unique life soundtrack can match a moment, a mood, a memory. [And yes, some songs can trigger less-than-wonderful versions of said moment, mood, and/or memory.]

We all have a unique soundtrack to our lives. It's a bit odd, but it's also a bit true, don't you think?

I have a very funny feeling I am going to start a series of blogposts on this theme. Watch. It's gonna happen.

So, here's parts one and two of my life's soundtrack, for starters [they were two of my mixes I made earlier this month too]. Now, you may have heard of these songs, you may not. In any case, it'll show you what the basis of my musical background sounds like.

Part one - Old school, baby!! [80's goth, new wave, and alternative, plus a 90's Britpop lost classic.]

'Situation' - Yazoo
'Love Action [I Believe in Love]' - The Human League
'It's a Sin' - The Pet Shop Boys
'Lovesong' - The Cure
'Enjoy the Silence' - Depeche Mode
'Don't Go' - Yazoo
'Let Me Go' - Heaven 17
'Fade to Grey' [12" version] - Visage
'Love Will Tear Us Apart' [single version] - Joy Division
'Mesh' - New Order
'Bela Lugosi's Dead' - Bauhaus
'Cuts You Up' - Peter Murphy
'Cities in Dust' - Siouxsie and the Banshees
'Every Day Is Halloween' - Ministry
'There Is a Light That Never Goes Out' - The Smiths
'Am I Wrong?' - Love Spit Love [90's Britpop lost classic]

Part two - Time to tear the dance floor up!! [EBM, industrial, techno, and electrodisco. Oh, and a song from a long-gone local band.]

'Teardrop' - Massive Attack
'Home' - Econoline Crush [rememer them??]
'This Is My Rifle' - Combichrist
'Military Fashion Show' - And One
'Marilyn, My Bitterness' [Version 2.0] - The Crüxshadows
'Pray' [radio edit] - Lycia
'Closer' - Nine Inch Nails
'Headhunter' - Front 242 [the godfathers of ebm!]
'Love Is Gonna Save Us' - Benni Benassi
'Satisfaction' [radio version] - Benni Benassi
'Ooh La La' - Goldfrapp
'Boys Wanna Be Her' [Weird Science remix] - Peaches
'Evil Has Never' - Union of Knives
'NWA' - The Terrible Sea [local band i saw once, they broke up late last year]
'Testament' - VNV Nation
'Lights Go Out' - Client

There ya go, some musical food for thought. And if you think these two were a surprising noise and a half, you haven't heard nothing yet!!

In fact, I think I know what part three will be for the next musical blogpost--

90's dance-pop. I'm talkin' 'I'm Too Sexy' by Right Said Fred, 'Mr. Vain' from Culture Beat, and so on.

In the meantime, hunt down some of the songs I've listened to for quite some time now. Especially the songs from part one--they helped shape my life.

And while you're at it, go hunt down some New Order. They're my favorite band.

Until the next round, Cheers!!

~ 'Sunshine'

Chapter 26: Oh oh... [So the NOOLers found me. Now here's what I have to say about it...]

[Currently playing: 'Lights Go Out' by Client.]

Well... heheheh... I got found out. Particularly about this blog! And especially Chapter 21 [that blogpost about the Premier League... yeah, remember that one? where i was also like, GO MANC CITY!!?... yeah, THAT one]. So, where exactly DID I get found out at?

Of all places, HERE!!!

[Actually, a fellow NOOLer gave me the heads-up about it. To that person--you know who you are--thanks. ]

Alright, so once again I get into a dose of misunderstanding. But hey, it's my blog. These words are mine. And sometimes I say things that, not surprisingly, people aren't going to agree with. So yeah, I have a strange way with words--and in fact, sometimes I have to eat some words!!

But hey, there are very few things I regret. And for the most part, my words are something I don't regret!!

So, to the nice, madcap online community that is NOOL, those of you glimpsing into my strange world, welcome to the Excelsios Underground. Just don't go into the asylum--oh wait, there isn't any. This place is an asylum in itself!!



Otherwise, another madcap week at work tomorrow. Oh, and I have a new phone now. Finally got the upgrade taken care of. Phone has a camera. I love it.

Evidence:



Yup, that was me. And that pic was taken last night!! [Yeah, apartment doesn't have a lot of light, but it makes for a pretty picture.]

Until the next round, Cheers!! XOXOXO

And a shout-out to the NOOLers who look at this and think I've lost me fookin' mind. Don't worry. There's a place in the Underground for you wacky lot.

~ 'Sunshine'

28 July 2007

Chapter 25: Okay, this is NOT going well... [Quick blogpost.]

[Currently on: the album 'Low-Life' by New Order - track 3: 'This Time of Night.']

Alright folks, this is a quick little update.

I basically slept the afternoon/night away yesterday after returning home dead tired so if anyone of you was trying to get a hold of me or something, and I didn't get to you, whoops. My bad. I was just worn out, dead tired, and so on and so forth. It's not you, it's me. This week's been probably as bad as last week.

Today [Jersey day at work], only 4 people wore sports-team stuff [me, store manager, and coworkers Lana and Steph]. Funny thing is, it was all Gators. So guess who dominated this week's Jersey day. *LOL*

And finally, today, for some funky reason I couldn't get any service on my phone. At all. So I'm heading over to where I got my phone [I'm due for an upgrade anyway!!], so I can figure out what the heck's up. The pathetic bit is that, I gotta use the public transport, as I can't get a hold of anyone at the moment. And of course the car's dead too. Plus, outside it's HELL, weather-wise that is.

This could get very ugly, very fast.

Until the next round...

~ 'Sunshine'

26 July 2007

Chapter 24: Life can be a nice old rainstorm... [Today, and what's to come.]

[Currently on: The String Quartet Tribute to Joy Division/New Order - 'Love Will Tear Us Apart'.]

Alrighty folks. Just for the record, there was something I actually should've done last week, that I finally got to take care of today. Oddly it had to be at work, but the gang understood that it had to be done. It was either that or I was going to be a total wreck for the rest of the day--possibly the rest of the week.

Today, for the first time since Saturday 7 July [the day Mike left DeLand], I had a good cry. A very good cry.

And, to be honest, I feel much better that I did, too.

All the stress from this past week and a half or so finally got overloading on me, and thankfully Assistant Manager Lowanda understood me. She even sent Manager Melissa to check up on me, sweet gal. Myshel covered for me for a bit, then Lana took over until I recovered [I cried - quietly!! - in the restroom, last stall], and after I got back she helped me out for Lunch. Melanie [a.k.a. Faith] took over for me after the Rush, and I played solitaire on the work computer.

Out of 8 games--

Computer - 3
Me - 5

And for someone having not played that in FOR-EV-ER!!, that ain't bad at all!! *w00t!*

So the Store Manager returns tomorrow, at noon [theoretically, but since this is the S.M. we're talking about I guess it's safe to say that anything goes], from her *ahem* 'vacation'. Manager JoAnne returns too [yay!!], and Assistant Manager Larry closes tonight--again. He hasn't been doing a good job of keeping an eye on his closing crew though... *deathglare*

I guess that, in perspective, sometimes it is a good thing to have a good cry every now and then. I mean, if not for a decent, good letting-out-the-chaos-through-tears-on-a-good-shoulder [even though in my case I didn't have a shoulder to cry on], then life would pretty much be a worse-case scenario of unnecessary ill-temperament, am I not right?

Plus, I actually feel a hell of a lot better after a much-needed 'emotional thunderstorm'--I actually feel like a decent little rainbow!! ^_^

Anywho, my hair's blue/indigo-esque again. No surprise though, since I intend to keep it blue for as long as I possibly can. *grin*

Well, that's all for now from the Excelsios Underground. Nothing new about the soccer hum-drum but, if you look at the sites I posted this week you should be up to speed.

Until the next round, Cheers!! XOXOXO [Mike, Crush!!]

~ 'Sunshine'

25 July 2007

Chapter 23: More soccer madness for you all. [Eurospital, anyone?]

[Currently playing: 'Spies' - Coldplay - 'Parachutes'.]

Alright folks, got more soccer hootenany for you guys. Pay attention--

Eurospital 2007

This year it's in Glasgow, Scotland. [Hey Robert--try to catch a game if you can!] There's actually a very good history--this will be the 14th year. It's an annual thing. And it's pretty cool too.

The teams this year are--


Austria


Belgium


The Czech Republic


Denmark


England


France


Germany


Ireland


Italy


The Netherlands


Portugal


San Marino


Scotland


Slovakia


Spain


Sweden

...you know, it has just dawned on me that, erm... this could be a bit tougher to find a favorite. Especially with England, Ireland, Italy AND Scotland as favorites!

Do your homework, and have some fun, folks!!

Until the next round...

~ 'Sunshine'

Chapter 22: All that heaven can allow. [OVER A WEEK JUST TO FINISH A POEM!? *LOL*]

[Currently playing - 'White Shadows' by Coldplay, album: 'X&Y'.]

Alrighteh, fellow madcap citizens of the Excelsios Underground, I have an announcement.

I am an absolute sap. No joke. An absolute, hopeless romantic of a sap.

Evidence: Today I'm listening to Coldplay.

And ONLY Coldplay.

Now, if this doesn't make the Duchess of Simpleton look like a toy kitty, I don't know W.T.F. does. I guess love does these things to you--you know, listen to songs you don't listen to often [like Coldplay... on repetition... all sorts of odd love songs... GAH!!], write poetry [can't believe it took me over a week to... wait, I'll get to that in a moment], daydream [hold up--I tend to do that a lot, don't I?], be a little extra nice to people [and it's bad enough I'm generally nice AS IS!!], and even dedicate a small something to someone [eh, Chapter 21, anyone?]. Love can make people [even crazy-enough people like me!] do crazy [if not crazier!] things.

Don't believe me? Hello, goth/new wave/punk rock girl listening to Coldplay here.

So the day passes by, and the album of the day was 'A Rush of Blood to the Head'. This was actually the first Coldplay album I bought, followed by 'X&Y' and then their priceless debut 'Parachutes'. 'Parachutes' and 'Rush of Blood' are my favorite Coldplay albums [they kinda lost the map with 'X&Y' there], can't decide which is better. Now, they're no New Order but, for the likes of love songs, this could be a nice dose of Britrock that I have no shame in listening to.

...yes, you heard proper. No. Shame. In. Coldplay.

Hey, I'll even scream it out too--

NO! SHAME! IN! COLDPLAY!



*ahem* In other news...

Yesterday I finally finished a poem after about a week of slaving whatever creativity I had on it. Came out good too; it's called 'Love Is a Guiltless Emotion', inspired by a title of a New Order song. Worth the headache too.

Otherwise... well... heck... store manager returns on Friday [about. effin'. time.], so we've been at the strange mercy of our Assistant Managers. Didn't get to leave work until an hour later too. I wonder if the store manager's gonna like the news.

Well hey, at least everyone likes the blue hair.

Until the next round...

~ 'Sunshine'

24 July 2007

Chapter 21: And now, something for the boyfriend. [The OTHER fantasy football. Take notes, boys.]

[Currently playing: 'Compliments' [Peel Session] by Bloc Party.]

Alrighteh boys [and Mikey ], with baseball in its second half and American football around the corner, it's time to get ready for the OTHER fantasy football.

Mike, your fantasy football doesn't even come CLOSE to my kind of fantasy football.

Yep, you guessed it. It's fantasy Premier League time.

Now, for some of you who have absolutely no clue what I'm talking about, here's the Premier League homepage. Or, you can pay attention to the Encyclopedia of Excelsios [a.k.a. me!] and take notes.

The Premier League is, basically, British soccer's answer to our NCAA, NFL, MLB, NHL, and PGA.

The team I'm rooting for this year:

Manchester City--'City 'til I die!'

Premier League gets under way in full force in August, but I'll give you guys the names of all 20 Football Clubs [yes, they're called Football Clubs, not teams ], and who's managing, and even a tidbit from the PL site [by the way, keep an eye on all teams involved--you never know which from these teams will be in the World Cup in two years!!]...


Arsenal [Arsene Wenger, Manager] - Arsenal have treated us to some truly exhilarating football with Arsene Wenger claiming three Premier League titles and guiding the Gunners through their historic unbeaten league season in 2003/04.


Aston Villa [Martin O'Niell, Manager] - Aston Villa have a squad with the talent and ability to make its mark in the Barclays Premiership.


Birmingham City [Steve Bruce, Manager] - Steve Bruce will be determined to establish his Birmingham City side back in the Barclays Premier League following their immediate return from the Championship.


Blackburn Rovers [Mark Hughes, Manager] - Blackburn Rovers and their loyal support dream of a repeat of their Premier League title win in 1995 and taking the highly prized trophy back to Ewood Park.


Bolton Wanderers [Sammy Lee, Manager] - Bolton Wanderers' impressive Reebok Stadium has become home to an array of talent from across the world of football.


Chelsea [Jose Mourinho, Manager] - Glamour boys Chelsea proved long ago that they have plenty of substance alongside their style as they brought home the silverware for the Stamford Bridge fans.


Derby County [Billy Davies, Manager] - Billy Davies will be looking forward to a season in the Barclays Premier League after guiding Derby County to promotion by winning the 2006/07 Championship play-off final.


Everton [David Moyes, Manager] - With talented young manager David Moyes at the helm of the Goodison Park club, Everton can make their mark on the Barclays Premiership.


Fulham [Lawrie Sanchez, Manager] - Fulham are back at Craven Cottage after two years in rented accommodation at Loftus Road as their bid to establish themselves as a major force in the Barclays Premiership continues.


Liverpool [Rafael Benitez, Manager] - There is great expectation on Merseyside that Rafael Benitez is the man to bring an elusive first-ever Premier League title to arrive at Anfield.


Manchester City [Sven-Goran Eriksson, Manager] - Manchester City's talented side are looking to progress at the City of Manchester Stadium under new boss Sven-Goran Eriksson.


Manchester United [Sir Alex Furguson, Manager] - Nine Premier League titles in 15 years coupled with FA Cup and European glory make the Old Trafford fans hungry for success, and Sir Alex Ferguson has the squad to deliver once again.


Middlesborough [Gareth Southgate, Manager] - Middlesbrough's Premier League tale by the Riverside features an illustrious multi-national cast who have now brought League Cup success to the passionate supporters on Teesside.


Newcastle United [Sam Allardyce, Manager] - The Magpies continue to soar, with their policy of combining youth and experience providing great entertainment on Tyneside.


Portsmouth [Harry Redknapp, Manager] - Portsmouth's exciting blend of experience, youth and overseas talent means that Fratton Park fans are ready to enjoy the Barclays Premier League campaign.


Reading [Steve Coppell, Manager] - Reading secured top-flight football for the first time in their history after a record-breaking 2005/06 campaign and will be looking to continue in the same vein in the Barclays Premiership.


Sunderland [Roy Keane, Manager] - The Black Cats will be determined to establish themselves back in the top flight.


Tottenham Hotspur [Martin Jol, Manager] - Stylish football has always been expected at White Hart Lane, with Barclays Premiership success also high on the agenda for Spurs.


West Ham United [Alan Curbishley, Manager] - The Hammers have brought more than their fair share of flair and passion to the Premier League over the years. With a host of talented young stars in their line-up, attractive football is guaranteed.


Wigan Athletic [Chris Hutchings, Manager] - Wigan Athletic made a rapid ascent to the Barclays Premiership and have since proved that they are here to stay.

...alright students, I've done my homework. Now go do yours, research the Football Clubs [yes, all 20 of 'em!], pick your favorite[s] for this season, and have fun!

Oh, and go join a fantasy soccer league, preferably a Premier League.

Until the next round, GO MANC CITY!! Cheers!!

[Mike, Crush. ^_^]

ETA [Edited to add] - One fun side note--there are 22 Football Clubs so far in the Fantasy Premier League that I'm in. So far. *grin*


Go Mesh F.C. [my Football Club]!!

By the way, yes, that IS my Football Club's uniform. Quoting the boyfriend, 'Got a problem?... Didn't think so!'

~ 'Sunshine'

[What goes down in the Underground...]

Mondays start the new workweek. Wednesdays tend to differ, depending on if I need to work or not--usually I'm off, and usually visiting "Uncle" Joseph. Thursdays is the Daughters of the King meeting night. Fridays and Saturdays are normally hectic--never the same drama twice. Sundays = Church day. I update the blog accordingly, with a rant or two, the occasional music post, and sometimes the most random nonsuch.

So stay tuned, because things are fixing to get interesting... and, save your forks--the best is yet to come...

~ me