No, really. I do. I swear it.
These days, guys have been asking me out, trying to hit on me, and today was [unfortunately] no exception. Now, lately, with my short haircut and my small chest I could probably pass as a guy in certain situations if I wear the necessary clothing. Which in this case, it was a boys size medium shirt with Super Mario on it and a red pair of guys size extra-small pants that fit me pretty well. Well, odd enough guys apparently can figure out who's a chick and who isn't, and they figured me out as a chick.
In fact, one of the guys was oogling me while I was walking through Downtown DeLand earlier this afternoon. I was heading to Coffee Bistro for lunch, had my lunch, was heading outside. He was sitting OUTSIDE the coffeehouse. He wanted to talk to me because, from how he put it, I had "caught his eye" and looked like the kind of person he'd want to get to know. I in the meanwhile mentally begged to differ... big time.
So we talked for 5 minutes--he's older than me [duh], likes country music [ick], thinks I'm hawt [uh?], and wants to take me out to dinner sometime [no!]. All those five minutes, I noted the following...
1] He's not my type--hello? Cowboy!? WTF!?
2] He's never heard of Kraftwerk... or New Order, Joy Division, or new wave or punk rock or goth. He has, however, heard of AFI, and thinks they're goth. News flash: I. Don't. Think. So.
3] He thinks I might enjoy riding in his truck, among other things. [Okay creep, what other things!? Riding you!? I sooo don't think so!!]
4] He couldn't hold up an intelligent conversation because he kept talking about dinner and what I liked and where I liked to go out and whatnot. I didn't even have much to say in the matter.
All in all, I politely declined. My exact words:
"I'm sorry but you're just not my type. I don't date anti-Roboter. And anyway, I'm not interested in romantic relationships. But I figured I'd let you know where I stand. Have a nice day."
I then gave a humble grin and walked AWAY from him. I giggled to myself and then thought, WTF was THAT all about!?
I swear, if I ever have a Roboter-version of me, it has to look like this:
...yes, like this. Exactly like this, or as close to it as possible. I'll send that to all the dates, I'll let the guys have fun with that version of me. I just won't let them have their way with, well, me.
I mean, I don't mean to be harsh about it, but it's true.
These days, I'd rather dress as a guy just to keep the guys at bay. I mean, it probably shows I'm at times a guy's guy kind of gal, but let's be serious for a moment. I've given up on love, right? It's even proven that I'm a helluva lot happier being single than fussing myself over finding the so-called One. So why, dear God tell me! why is it guys just DON'T get that part of the memo?
Recalling the circumstances of just why I'm done with love--
1] Last relationship lasted nearly 3 months. We all know who the ex is.
2] Everytime I break up with someone, the ex finds someone even better and, even possibly, their 'happily ever after' with that person.
3] All the good ones are taken...
4] ...and I'm stuck with the dorks from Loserville.
5] These days, happy couples sort-of sicken me a little.
6] No one understands me really, except for my two best friends [StarKnights Moonhead and Pouncer] and StarKnight Antenna [yes, I'm declaring him a StarKnight already!].
Probably the only person who really DOES understand me at the moment... Antenna... he's all the way in New York. And remember--we just met. But we get along very, very well. Evidence--we talked on the phone last night for about an hour or so, and he's hilarious with his Ralf and Florian impersonations. Very freckin' funny. But we just get along so well talking about Kraftwerk. And unfortunately, that's probably the only friend I have that likes Kraftwerk just as much as I do.
You know, it must be time for a song...
...yep, non-Kraftwerk Song of the Week: "Funk Dat" by Sagat.
FUNK DAT!
Question...
Why is it that every time
I'm walking down the street,
Somebody wants to stop me
Just to give me a flyer?
C'mon man...
FUNK DAT!
Get out of my way!
Question...
Why is it that every time
I'm walking to the bank,
The tellers look at me
Like I'm the one that robbed them last week?
C'mon man...
FUNK DAT!
What are you looking at?
Question...
Why is it that every time
I turn on the radio,
I hear the same five songs
fifteen times a day for three months?
Man...
FUNK DAT!
Get a new DJ!
Question...
Why is it that bums ask me for money,
When I ain't got none?
What is it an "in" thing or something,
"Let me remind this dude he ain't got no money." Huh?
Man...
FUNK DAT!
Get a job!
You know,
Every time I see my neighboor,
She tells me to stay out of trouble,
The other one looks at me like
I'm the one that got her daughter strung out.
C'mon man...
FUNK DAT!
What are you looking at?
Seems like every time it never fails,
It never fails...
I'm just chillin' in my crib,
Minding my own business,
And somebody calls me just to talk about nothing...
FUNK DAT!
Get a life!
Question...
Why is it that when I go out to a night club,
Only the ugly chicks wanna step to me,
I mean like I'm ugly or something, huh?
What do you mean, huh?
FUNK DAT!
Get outta my face!
Already, I feel a helluva lot better.
So, with that in mind... Question...
Why is it that no matter how I try to be happy on my own,
Some guy's gotta mess with me?
Gee, like I'm some sex object or something?
What the hell man...
FUNK DAT!!
Just get lost, boy!!
...hee... I love this song...
Until the next round...
~ 'Sunshine'
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