...no, really. I doubt that it's gonna work out well between Joshua and I. I just... I just don't think so.
Currently playing: "Brave Boys Keep Their Promises" by The Teardrop Explodes.
Earlier this afternoon we met up at Coffee Bistro to chat and whatnot, and all the while, this feeling sorta got to me:
He's nice, he seems cool, but... we just don't compute!!
We had a decent conversation and he was really cool to talk with, but still. I mean, what in the world was I thinking?? So, I'm not sure really when we're gonna get to hang out again [not that I wouldn't, but I really don't see myself really being like, his girlfriend or anything, probably just a good friend].
In other news, it turns out that my friend and fellow StarKnight Siren is actually the brother of the soon-to-be-bride of StarKnight Agathangelos!! Siren and I got to catch up for the first time in months, and he asked me if I was going to the wedding. Then again, I think I already met his sister. But still...
I mean, I'm just not really sure I'd want to go to this wedding, even though Siren'll be there. Maybe Pouncer too. And God forbid Agathangelos dare forgets to invite my ex into this. And if he does get invited, and I end up invited, it's gonna be awkward, that's a fact. It's just... it's just that for sure, exes and ex-crushes at a wedding... and me being there... I'm gonna be hitting the panic button for dear life if the invite comes in.
But, then again... I don't do weddings. Only been to one--when Dad married my Stepmom. And that was... er... three years ago?
So I'm here in the Underground kinda typing away at this, and I'm looking back--again--and I've wondered, Is it really worth having a broken heart anymore? I mean, I've sorta spent two hours of my afternoon with a guy I thought was cool at first, only to realize that, in the end, he just doesn't... you know... he just doesn't get me. He's nice and all but, come on! this morning I ended up not really wanting to meet up with him. And my hunches were rather proper. If I don't think it's gonna work out, most of the time, I'm usually right, and it's mostly because the guy and I just... we just don't click, y'know? It just doesn't work.
Now playing: "Adorations" by Killing Joke.
These days, I realize it's just not worth the aggrevation anymore. I'm better off alone, happily single, not really worrying if I'm ever going to get married [face it boys, it's not gonna happen, so don't push your luck!!]. And, if I ever do get married, it won't be in a white dress. *fingers in an X over mouth*
So what exactly is left to say about this whole mess called love? Simple--it's a fairy tale. And, as I noted somewhere, I stopped believing in fairy tales a long time ago.
That said, I need to oogle at Ralf's eyes again. :-P
Until the next round...
~ 'Sunshine'
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