The Top 20 WSUR as of yesterday, Thursday 19 June 2008.
Thanks much to Last.fm
1] "Primitive Notion" - New Order
2] "Lover All Alone" - Clay Aiken
3] "Radioactivity" ['75] - Kraftwerk
4] "I Saw the Light" - Todd Rundgren
5] "Radioland" - Kraftwerk
6] "The Queen Is Dead" - The Smiths
7] "Transistor" - Kraftwerk
8] "Hello It's Me" - Todd Rundgren
9] "New Year's Day" - U2
10] "Girls and Boys" - Blur
11] "Time to Pretend" - MGMT
12] "Enjoy the Silence" - Depeche Mode
13] "Electricity" - OMD
14] "Nothingman" - Pearl Jam
15] "Expo2000" [Underground Resistance Thought 3 Remix] - Kraftwerk
16] "Antenna" - Kraftwerk
17] "Transmission" - Joy Division
18] "True Faith" - New Order
19] "Theft, and Wandering Around Lost" - Cocteau Twins
20] "Love Will Tear Us Apart" - Jose Gonzalez
*whew!!* Alright, now, onto the madness that was yesterday.
After working an exhausting 5 A.M.-2 P.M. [yes, I ended up staying an extra hour], I rushed home, got a quick shower, and was dressed and ready to go by the time Ani picked me up to get to Choir practice. Now considering I have this pretty new outfit to wear for the first time to this, I was rather a lovely fairy princess for a lack of proper words...
The service all in all went very well, and the Choir had reconvened for this because the widow of the deceased is one of our own lovely Altos, Corky. And she was quite sweet, as always, when I got to talk to her a bit at the Reception. The Choir, by the way, is back on vacation and, God willing, will stay on vacation up to September.
Then I went through the trouble of walking about 20 minutes to Kit's apartment to hang out with her a bit. Now unfortunately, by that point--er, 6:30 P.M.-ish--I'd been wearing the heels I thought went perfectly with the dress.
What.the.fcuk.was.I.thinking!?
I got to sit on the carpet while at her place, and I asked her to take that pic you saw just a moment ago. Yeah, me, in that lovely dress that makes me feel like the dearest fairy princess in the entire fcuking world. I love this dress. I'm just not going to resort to heels ever again. The heels I spent the better part of four hours in sure tore the back of my feet up. *sigh* I think I'll stick with flats with the outfit. Which means back to Wal*Mart at some point.
And, last night I got to... actually, for the past couple of weeks now, I'd been talking with my friend Antenna--no, his codename changed as of this week. He's now known as Roboter here. Yep, my fellow Kraftwerk fanatic in New York and I have been engaging in rather amusing conversations about life and the messed-up side of it. And it's been a proper way of ending my day--actually, that's been the way we've ended our long days this week: a good half-hour to hour-long conversation on the phone about anything.
Let's put it this way--he's my long-distance best friend. And he's been my sounding board for the better part of this week, since I really don't have a lot of good guy friends this time around. Except for Pouncer, but he's all the way in Louisiana and in the Army [even though he's my best bud forfreckin'ever--if you can count 5 years as such]. And Siren... well... he's got his own situation with work. But he and I have been talking on AIM, but it's just not the same now. It's not like it used to be. The lovey-dovey talk has... well... died somehow. And I'm still blaming myself for that. I should've just shown patience as I usually do instead of getting into that temper I was in last week.
I miss telling my... er... I don't even know whether to address him as my "boyfriend" anymore. Sad that to me it's all come down to this. And that's been the one main thing haunting me this entire week, I'm realizing this now. I'm actually afraid of telling him that I love him, and even more afraid that his feelings are less than mutual because of the hell I raised last weekend. And I think that's one of the main reasons I've been afraid to answer his IM's all week--simply because I've been afraid. It just feels like we're just... you know... friends again. It's what's kept me from telling him I still love him. It's a feeling that makes me somewhat sick in my gut--just that feeling that things have changed somehow, and that my actions played a rather major part in it.
I've apologized time and again, but somehow, I don't know if I could ever forgive myself of this.
*question to self ~ jenn, why on earth are you even worrying yourself about him? he'll be just fine. you just go about your own business. end of. he's thinking of you. you'll be just fine. now get over it!*
Ah well, enough of this. It's the weekend, I'm off, and I guess a night of dancing is in order. Except, my entire entourage is either working or out of town, so it'll be just me this round. This could be rather, er... I don't know.
*sigh* Hey, if anything, I'll update tomorrow. I promise.
Until the next round, cheers.
~ me
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