codename ~ DEATHFLIGHT

I'm scared of death.

I think I may have said this once or twice.

Seriously. I'm scared of death, I'm afraid to die. Even though I'm a strong believer in heaven, the fear... it's there. I can't fully tolerate the concept of death. It's too... I don't know... it just sickens me sometimes. Maybe a bit too much sometimes. And it's struck again.

This morning word was received in the workplace that Juan's father passed away from cancer. Juan is 17, still in high school, and works in the night shift. And in my opinion he's much too young to lose his father through such an illness.

*sigh* It kinda dampens an otherwise decent day. The fear of death is amplified whenever it strikes close to home. And my heart breaks because of the pain that the person who's lost someone feels, the tears they have to cry having lost someone they can't replace.

I haven't had a time or chance to let out a good cry yet, as I've been trying to cheer myself up working on Doctor Who LOL-style pictures. But the pain is strong enough that, before tonight's over, there will be tears.

...I don't think I really want to go out tonight. Not in the state I'm in today.

I think this calls for *some* Coldplay. Yes, Coldplay. Because there are some songs that should dry my tears when I'm just one helluva glum mess. Like this one. Just the title's calm for the calamity. But the chorus sings the truth.
"Don't Panic" - Coldplay


I can't really describe this song, but the lyrics sure help with the kind of day I've been having. I'm cranking this up a good couple of notches.
"Fix You" - Coldplay


I know this one's a love song but, with lyrics like these, it's almost as if to seem like the sea is death, in this case.
And I could write a song, A hundred miles long
Well, that's where I belong, And you belong with me

The streets you're walking on A thousand houses long
Well, that's where I belong, And you belong with me

Oh what good is it to live With nothing left to give,
Forget but not forgive, Not loving all you see?

Oh the streets you're walking on A thousand houses long
Well that's where I belong And you belong with me...
Not swallowed in the sea
"Swallowed In The Sea" - Coldplay


Back to the start? Please, back to the days before death came and stole you away...
"The Scientist" - Coldplay


And finally, for Juan, if he ever reads this--I think your father's singing this right now; it's a short song but, I think it's probably saying so much right now... for all of us, and to those who in the past near-6 months who've lost someone dear...
"Death Will Never Conquer" - Coldplay *Song of the Day*


On that note, I think that'll do for today... for now.

~ me, codename DEATHFLIGHT