my heart hasn't felt this sound in nearly ages.
I'm slowly approaching the quarter-century [less than two weeks to go!] and, for all I care, I can't get the words out right. Not when I realize that, there's been someone there for me all this time--11 months and 3 days since he and I met to be exact!! And that, all the while that I'd faced the likes of Cupid being rather stupid... that chances are that we never really stopped thinking about each other...
...isn't that right, Roboter?
So yes, I've had my share of tears--I'd been a girlfriend and all the while been dumped. Time and time again. In the end of things I ended up the friend. And of all my ex-boyfriends, only two are among my best friends in the entire universe--
~ Pouncer [yes, my best buddy, we dated, got serious, broke up... and realised that we were better as the best of friends after all, and still are to this day!]
~ Hikari [who every once in a while takes me out to lunch so we can catch up on life's drama in our respective corners of the world].
And in the midst of my tears I kept thinking, hoping that there was someone out in this world for me. And I realised some weeks ago that, there really is someone out there for me.
1,200 miles out there for me, to be exact!
For those of you who cheered, It's Roboter, Captain!!, give yourself a cookie and tell 'em I said it was okay. Hell, have two! Or gosh! why not just share the whole damn cookie jar!? I'm in love! I'M IN LOVE FOR GOODNESS' SAKE!!
Because, no one else I know of could ever make me feel like life's worth holding on when the worst of it brings me to tears, when death crosses my path again and again. When work is unbearable on either end and all we can do is lift each other up somehow. When life's dilemmas cause headaches enough for the both of us.
Sunday 19 October will be the 1-year anniversary since--thank you Facebook!!--Roboter and I became friends. Over, of course, this group right here...
"Nummern/Computerwelt 2" - Kraftwerk
And between talking Ralf und Florian, Trans-Europa and the recent touring drama [*sigh* STILL no Florian...], after 11 months it's safe to say that, with constant communication a long-distance relationship CAN flourish!! And between the both of us, it's blossoming quite nicely.
Because after Siren broke up with me, mainly over the pointlessness of putting up with long distance [he was in Iowa when that happened... in June... uh-huh], I once thought we could've worked things out when he returned; that never happened because of the implications [full-time student + full-time worker + long-distance between deland and merritt island *WHICH ISN'T EVEN MUCH!!* = next-to-no time for me = siren ~ that's my equation and i'm sticking to it!]. And yet now he's with someone new. But you know... he doesn't matter to me anymore. Not when I realise that, I've proven him wrong over long-distance relationships. And I'm even happier NOW than when I was dating him!! When Siren broke up with me, Roboter was the first to know, and all the while as things were going from bad to worse, he [Roboter] was there for me through the better and not-so-great of times. And we're still holding each other's hand somehow through all of this.
Siren, if you only knew just how much I learned from you so much--that I probably didn't mean as much to you as I thought I meant. That you'd unexpectedly, unnecessarily disregard me as your internship progressed. That you'd break up with me when I didn't need to go through that untimely mess. That you'd ultimately break my heart, over a stupid triviality. Well... yes, you moved on. And thank the Lord above, so have I. And happily, because you made me not give up over someone who, I've realised, has been on my side all along, more than you'll ever be for me. He and I have made the effort--more than you'd expect. Just thought I'd send you a little anti-love song your way...
"Forget I Ever Knew You" - Clay Aiken
*WHEW!!* Alright, that done, trying to type and talk with my sweetheart is no easy matter right now but, considering it was crazy enough we were on the phone for, er, 8 hours and 15 minutes NONSTOP yesterday... yeah. We had quite a conversation over an assortment of topics, as usual. But it lasted from the time I got home from Church to the time I went to bed at around 10. And it was all the more fun; there seems to be more to talk about now than back in December, though back then we had developed some sort of crush on each other. But now we've intergrated each other into each other's little respective corners of the world, between taking pics of our workstations to texting in the middle of work out of the blue to--my favorite--sharing pictures of our neighborhoods.
I kinda told him last night that, the day we finally meet [and we're praying that God willing it's SOON!!] things are going to be off the wall!! And the way we go about our lives, the way we are with each other, to me it's as if almost anything is possible. 1,200 miles may separate us but, love is the shortest distance between both our hearts. And between us our hearts are as close as it's gonna get!
So yes, I think it is time to say with honest conviction that, I love Roboter and I cannot lie!! Yes, I know, I'm crazy, but so is he and it takes one crazy soul to know one. If only you heard what craziness of the humorous sort occurs in any conversation we have...!
I think this calls for a StarMix for the two of us, which the rest of you Underground Citizens can sing along to and join in the cheer. What say y'all, fancy a sing-along? Or even better, fancy a jelly baby?
Thursdays Roboter goes about his post-work time taking on grocery shopping. I usually listen to this tune on his behalf. I think he likes the song...?
"Lost In The Supermarket" - The Clash
And because he absofreckin'lutely LOVES THIS SONG!!
"Satisfaction" - Benny Benassi
From our good friend Louise, whom I need to find a proper codename for, by the way; I'm sure we'll probably listen to this on our first date. *sigh*
"Neon Lights/Neonlicht" - Kraftwerk
We've had our share of mishaps and ill-temperament at work, we had our minor quarter-life crises, and we're still hangin' on in there for dear life. I'm sending this one out to him 'cause, even though this may be an alt-country cover of a really good song, the lyrics still mean enough.
"Handle With Care" - Jenny Lewis with the Watson Twins
...oh and, hey Roboter! Everyone! how 'bout a sing-along??
"I'm Gonna Be [500 Miles]" - The Proclaimers
Besides this being my Song of the Week, this is by far my favorite love song. No, seriously. And we all thought being weird was enough on my end. But hell, I've got my own standards for love songs!!
"Mayor Of Simpleton" - XTC
And speaking of, to close out this playlist, more Kraftwerk! Hey, it was what we had in common in the first place, so why not?
"Computer Love" - Kraftwerk
I can say without thinking twice that, long distance be damned, I'm in love, and I'm loved, and I know it...
AND I FRECKIN' LOVE IT!!
~ me, codename BELOVED
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