Chapter 100: The Time Between Meeting and Finally Leaving Is Sometimes Called Falling In Love.

...okay, so it seems that Cupid is definitely worse than on my last nerve. It turns out that there's not one but TWO guys still crushing on me. And to be honest... well... there's one that I know of [Steven--codenamed Siren] and then there's the other that I don't know of, whch I found out about today [Daniel--not the one codenamed Rabbit but the one codenamed Hobbes]. Which means now I'm in a brand effin' new crisis. And I hate crises. I really do.

So now, inasmuch as Cupid rhymes with stupid and I'm over the break-up with Casey, it's become a brand new dilemma that I wish I wasn't stuck in. And that means, well, lately... hell...

Just when I was thinking of Siren, now Hobbes is thinking of me again too. But... I don't know. And to make the situation even worse, I haven't heard from Siren in at least a week. Now not only does that make me worry, but that also makes me wonder if it's worth falling for Siren. And the worst part is, as much as Hobbes is my friend, I can't really tell him that I don't see him much outside of as a friend. [In fact, Hobbes is one of my exes, I joke you not!]

So basically, it's a Catch-22. I hate Catch-22's.

*sigh* Why... why me? Couldn't I just be some normal girl with a wonderful boyfriend and be happy, instead of having all this pointlessly excessive drama? But nooo--Cupid had to be jealous of how humble and sweet this punk girl is, and simply make life hell because of it. It just... it just isn't right, you know?

I swear, I don't know where it all went wrong.

In all honesty, if I could at least tell Siren how I feel--just the simple fact that, I've denied even to MYSELF that I actually liked him [and still do] and now I feel like a total jerk for it--would... well... would it change anything? And while I don't want to hurt anyone in the end [especially after all the tears I'd been through...! -_-' meh.], I realized that, there's two hearts that I did hurt, and one of them I actually did like. And I really want to make up for this.

I really do want to make up for lost time.

*sigh* Right now I can only hope to God above that, Siren understands this. I'm really hoping against hope right now.



And Siren, if you're reading this, if ever in any way I'd hurt you in the past, I'm sorry. And I hope you're alright.



*sigh* From a week of miserable P.M.S., to a break-up, now trying to set things right. Just one crisis to another.

All of a sudden I'm afraid this isn't going to go very well.

Until the next round, damnit! where's my PANIC button!? *facepalm*