Chapter 68+1b: Lots of Kraftwerk for Pouncer!! Hee!!

First of all is the breakthrough classic from 1974, the title track to their fourth album "Autobahn." Absoeffin'lute classic.

Bit long though, but it's an interesting/fun one!! Trust me, this song got the band on the map--no pun intended!!

Wir farh'n farh'n farh'n auf die Autobahn!! [We're driving driving driving on the Autobahn!!]



Then, we have the classic 1981 album "Computer World." Possibly one of the best albums EVER. And no wonder.



Pouncer, you're gonna have a ball tonight, buddy!! Enjoy the noise!!

~ 'Sunshine'

Chapter 68+1 [because there's bound to be someone out there about to joke about that damn number!!]

But ANYWAY!!

Here's a song for my best buddy Pouncer. A friend of mine sent me the album "Bootwerk: A Bastard Pop Tribute to Kraftwerk" a while ago, and this track made me have a few giggle fits.

Hee...



Everybody... DANCE THA FUNKY MAMBO!!! YEEEEEEEEEEHAW!!!





P.S. it's a mash-up, can't ya tell?

~ 'Sunshine'

Chapter 68b: Eclectronica!! [Yay!! New StarMix is done!!]

Enjoy. ^_^



Until the next round...

~ me.

Chapter 68: Eclectronica - Kraftwerk. [Yep, another StarMix currently in the works.]

The world of being eclectronic...


[you'd never think this was the outside of the library, looking up, just as i'm heading to the underground!! wednesday 26 september 2007.]
As of right now, I have the following Kraftwerk albums [in the order uploaded into the system]--

Tour de France Soundtracks
Minimum-Maximum
The Man-Machine [somewhat not-so-good quality]
Trans-Europe Express
Autobahn
Radio-Activity [currently downloading into the system]
Computer World [next to be downloaded into the system]

Hoping to input into the system soon:
The Man-Machine [a better-quality version, thank you!]
Electric Cafe
The Mix

So, as one could guess, as soon as that's done, it's into the MP3 player [right beside New Order and, space permitting, Joy Division or Warsaw] they go, music and all, to be enjoyed without excessive batteries for annoyance.

There's always, of course, putting them into c.d.s and making the StarMixes, as we all know me to be good at those.

I'm currently revising my 7"-version Kraftwerk Trans-Underground mix, as I got the 'TEE' album last night, which includes the beautiful first-track-worthy "Europe Endless." I.Love.This.Song. But anywho, the Trans-Underground 7"-version mix, aptly titled "Eclectronica," up to "The Man-Machine" is pretty much the same. "TEE" 12"-extended is still the last track.

Original track listing:
Nummern [Numbers]
Aéro Dynamik *Kling Klang Radio Mix*
Die Roboter [The Robots]
Metropolis
Trans-Europe Express [Trans-Europa Express] *Total Mix*
Expo 2000
The Man-Machine [Die Mensch-Maschine]
Antenna [Antenne]
Radioactivity [Radioactivität]
Neon Lights [Neonlicht]
Trans-Europe Express [Trans-Europa Express] *12" Extended Mix*

New track listing:
Nummern [Numbers]
Aéro Dynamik *Kling Klang Radio Mix*
Die Roboter [The Robots]
Metropolis
Trans-Europe Express [Trans-Europa Express] *Total Mix*
Expo 2000
The Man-Machine [Die Mensch-Maschine]
Ohm Sweet Ohm
It's More Fun To Compute
Europe Endless
Trans-Europe Express [Trans-Europa Express] *12" Extended Mix*

I'm giving the first mix version to my friend Tabbsy, who's a sweetheart and a half. She's also a fellow Junior-Manager trainee as I am. And she likes to listen to Kraftwerk--yeah, I introduced her to the eclectronic mensch-maschine that is Kraftwerk. And she liked what she heard, which is a pretty cool thing. So, I'm giving her this particular mix.

Meanwhile I still gotta go take care of my paycheck dilemma. Problem is, the bank's closed now, and I'm broke until tomorrow when I do take care of the paycheck.

Thank the good heavens there's something called music blogs. Amen to that!!

Until the next round...

~ me.

*EDITED ON WED 26 SEPT 2007--revised the new playlist*

Chapter 67: Sort of a depressing turn of events here. [Read on, you'll see.]

Today Pouncer sent me word of what he thought would be good news for me... except, for me it was anything but good.

From my NOOL (New Order Online) blog--And as if being a week and two days shy of 24 isn't bad enough...

So yeah, there goes one more happy soul to their happy ending, and everyone's gonna be expecting ME to be cheerful?

The way things have been going, I don't really think I'm excited about turning 24 next Thursday...



~ Jenn.

Chapter 66: Humming the sounds of a sweeter melody. [The whim of Yom Kippur, the thrill of life.]

Currently humming this track right here...



"Europe Endless" by Kraftwerk. I'm talking, uber-dancable technopop.

This YouTube however, is a bit of a humorous because it takes a few good clips from a movie about Nazi spies and pairs it with some robot rock. To be honest, a track from 1977 in this case is enough for me to make me dance in my seat. No joke!!

Naw... not the fathers of electrodisco!! Naw!!

Meanwhile... last night and all through today is Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of Atonement. Ten days after the Jewish New Year [Rosh Hashanah]. Those few precious days in between are days of repentance, self-examination and self-denial. And to be honest, this day's a bit of a stronger blessing than other people would've guessed about this day. Yeah, we fast for 25 hours, but let's be real about the main reason why we do this. TO KEEP FOCUS ON PRAYER!!

'Nuff said on that subject. Next topic of discussion...

This week's highlights [and then some], in pictures--

First, this week [and earlier this month for one pic] on my camera...


Earlier this month. Yeah, that's one helluvan order I took there, folks. The rest of the store got pissed. I however was amused. [By the way, that was the Sunday my Grandma Sharon had her surprise birthday party.]


Last Friday night, for the Sabbath service, all the gals of the Temple [including me!] got to light Shabbat candles. After that we said the Prayer for Lighting the Sabbath Lights. Fun time had by all!


This past Monday was my younger sister's birthday. We celebrated it last Saturday afternoon/evening. By the way, she's 10 now. Dayumn, she's getting big! Go, Small Lady, Go!!


Kinda blurred, but this was where we were having some birthday cake, and Dad decided to brag, "My piece is bigger than yours." Don't worry though. I had the smallest piece of the lot, 'cause I was full from all that spaghetti we had for dinner!!


Wednesday it rained. All. Day. Long. Nice day to be in the Drive-Thru too, as I missed working on a rainy day. I loved it. So much so that at 6:53 A.M. it was the perfect moment to catch a rainy-day morning picture. That picture was the result.


Yesterday I was heading to Downtown DeLand after visiting Mom [stepmom] at her job. I took the public bus and, as I was listening to Kraftwerk's "Trans-Europe Express" at the time, I took that opportunity to capture this moment. I nicknamed that bus I took that day the "Trans-Small Town Express." Classic.

And then, these next four pictures...




...were the progression of the skies as I was heading to Temple Israel last night. First pic, at 6:12 P.M., then at 6:23 P.M. [I actualy faced the Downtown area, opposite of my destination, for this pic], at 6:24 P.M. and finally at 6:36 P.M.

Alright, enough of my life, it's time for some different eye-candy...


Aww... don't the guys of Kraftwerk look so adorable? I giggled half to death looking at the pic. And doesn't Ralf look so bashful!?


Speaking of Ralf, looks like it's tea-time for him!


From monkey to mensch-maschine is but a remarkable evolution!


The mensch-maschinen are taking over!! YESS!!


Dancing mensch-maschinen!! Bliss! Joy! Happiness! w00t! Hee!!


Mensch-maschine Karl vs. the Pocket Calculator. What. A. Hoot!


Aww... me being swarmed by adorable mensch-maschinen!! [Don't worry, I have Ralf in my hand, Florian hanging out in my purse, Karl trying to hide behind my foot and Wolfgang holding down the fort on my other foot!!]

And for the final giggle of the day, a "Caption This!!" moment--

[pic one]Florian: Hi kids!! We're Kraftwerk, die mensche-maschinen from Germany!! Now we're gonna play for you guys some music!! *grin*
[pic two]Ralf: ...uhm... Florian... I don't think so. *shakes his head*
[pic three]Ralf: See, let me show y'all how it's done!!

Giggle away, y'all, until the next round...

~ 'Sunshine'

Chapter 65: More technopop to edumacate you folks with. [Documentary time, folks.]

Warning: This blogpost is a Kraftwerk YouTube overload.

Don't believe me?

Die Mensch-Maschine t.v. documentary, part one:


And yes, you just saw Kraftwerk dancing. Remember y'all, this is '82 we're talking about here!!

Oh and, eee!! Ralf!! *sigh* *swoon* *thud*

Part two:


Another Kraftwerk documentary, part 1:


Part 2:

Chapter 64: If you love Kraftwerk, you're really gonna love the newest StarMix...

...yep, y'all guessed it. It's got Kraftwerk. And plenty of!!

Behold, the new Trans-Underground soundtrack: Trans-Unterirdisch Express



Note: this playlist above is only the StarMix [plug-this-sucka-mix-in-da-boombox!] version. The full soundtrack is at the bottom of the blog. For best effect, put the mix on random, and crank it up full blast. Sing along if you know the words no matter what the language.

Until the next round, enjoy the noise...

~ 'Sunshine'

Chapter 63: Yay for Halloween!! [Yes, I finally decided!!]

For the record, this year's Halloween, I'm going to be one of them...



...yes, for Halloween this year, I'm going to be a mensch-maschine. Just like Kraftwerk. Mmhmm.

Heck, it's practically an easy costume. Just get a red long-sleeved button-down, gray pants, black tie, some pale make-up [hey Wal*Mart!!] and red lipstick/lip gloss--and voila!! Instant mensch-maschine complete with the short hair for it!! Oh, and instead of 'Sunshine' it's gonna be 'Ralf H.' on my nametag for the day.

I am uber-psyched for this.

Meanwhile, surprisingly, I heard from Mike!! He's doin' alright. Scotland's great. And I can't be happier for him. To be honest with you all, while I still hurt a little bit inside for all that I've gone through since the break-up, considering the fact that I miss him, I guess it is for the best. Sure, I'm a bit bitter [not that I should be, but really I shouldn't be, he is now just a friend after all] but... well, I guess I have moved on. Somehow.

Meanwhile, well, no luck trying to tell one of my crushes how I feel. Jason stopped by but still no hang-out time planned [ugh...], and to be honest I'm really certain of one thing:

I was meant to live this life alone.

Yeah, that's the harsh reality of the whole matter. I don't mean to be cynical or anything but... that's just the truth. That's how I see it. I mean, what are the odds, folks, that I really see myself with anyone?

...I mean...

I'm intelligent. I'm pretty [or at least cute in a boyish sort of way now]. I'm creative. I'm tough. I'm outrageous. I'm...

I suppose I know what I am, and what I'm not. But am I really sure of this?

I hope that someday some guy will truly see me for what I'm worth and not stick to just looking at some charming face. That he'll look at me and think kindly of me as someone cool to be around. That he'll actually see me as someone more than just a friend.

In the immortal words of Chrissy Hynde of the Pretenders, maybe tomorrow, maybe someday.

In the meantime, I'm listening to a good slew of mixes of Kraftwerk's "Trans-Europe Express," and to be honest with y'all, I. Love. Them. But my favorite mix is the Total Mix, which you can find its offspring version on their live album "Minimum-Maximum" album. And the 12" extended version of TEE is, basically, both TEE and MoM all into one track. I'm currently hearing the Ultra Mix, and it's pretty funktastic. It's just... it's just cool. Though it'll never beat the Total Mix or the classic 12" extended mix.

I promise, I'll upload a new Trans-Underground soundtrack. I know some of y'all are tired of hearing "Disco Bambina" the first thing you enter here...

Oh and, one more thing--Mike thinks the hair is cute!! *LMAO*

Until the next round...

~ 'Sunshine'

Chapter 62: A new year. [Rosh Hashanah, and what's led up to this time.]

Song of the day--


For one, Happy Rosh Hashanah and L'shana Tova 5768!! Yep, it's the Jewish New Year as of last night, and to be honest with you guys this is exactly what I needed. Three days off of work so that I can concentrate on renewing my nerves. That and, it's Rosh Hashanah. How on earth could I miss celebrating with my Jewish second family?

Exactly. I'm happily missing work--just for this!!

So, what's led me to celebrate a new start-up in the Jewish calendar? Well for one, the past two and a half weeks have been nothing short of chaos. Cupid's come to hate me, a good majority of the world I've known's come to hate me, and at this point I'm hoping God's not laughing at me so much. :-\ Yeah, it's been that bad.

Sooo... according to the timeline...

--Monday 27 August - Michael breaks up with me.
--Tuesday 28 August - Damn near everybody kills me over muffin prices at my job.
--Wednesday 29 August - In rebellion and ill-temperament, I dye my hair black.
--Friday 31 August - First new picture of me with black hair.
--Sunday 2 September - Grandma Sharon's birthday.
--Monday 3 September - Labor Day... and I still had to work!! Also posted the main storyplot of "Trans-Europa."
--Tuesday 4 September - Last time I saw Rex at his job.
--Wednesday 5 September - First Choir Practice at St. B's. Posted the Prelude after practice.
--Thursday 6 September - I reaffirmed my feelings... only to have them crushed.
--Friday 7 September - Mike leaves for Scotland. On his birthday, no less.
--Saturday 8 September - The inspection at work... which I ended up panicking mercilessly over. Luckily we passed, but still. I think I broke the panic button. Also posted up two new Chapters on "Trans-Europa."
--Sunday 9 September - The triumphant return of the Choir at St. B's.
--Monday 10 September - Posted Chapter 3 of "Trans-Europa." Store Manager Joel begins vacation until next week sometime.
--Tuesday 11 September - Six-year anniversary of 9/11.
--Wednesday 12 September - Got my hair cut. Happy Rosh Hashanah.

...and yes, you all read proper: I. Got. My. Hair. Cut.



[the world can have my sanity but they'll never have my hair! wednesday 12 september 2007.]

Besides the fact of the matter that it's a change from the normal, it's my way of telling the world a big "SCREW YOU!!", minus the fingers. I mean, hell. If I'm gonna be stuck alone for the rest of eternity, I better get myself happily adjusted to the fact of the matter that I'm better off looking like a goth/punk nun than a normal girl. *chuckle*

Yeah, I know. I'm just one bitter little *bleep*.

But you know, the truth of it all is that, perhaps I really am better off alone in this world. I've got no reason anymore to grow my hair out. I've got no one to impress. I've got nothing to prove.

I'm just an ordinairy strange girl that means nothing to society.

I don't really know where I stand, whether in society or in my circles of friendships. And with my luck I'll ever come across true love. I guess, the most I can do is just be happy with the few good friendships I have, the dear second families in the Episcopal Choir and the Jewish Temple Israel, my coworkers and managers, my family and extended families. I guess... I suppose I really am better off being the duchess of simpleton, the unassuming child of royal blood that's often been given the eye by those that would scare me into hiding in my apartment, while I end up wanting those I cannot have.

You know, the last time I got my hair boyishly short was January 2006. Let's see how long it takes me to want to grow it out. As I said, I've got no reason to keep it long anymore.

I wonder what the ex [if anything] has to say about this.

And knowing him, he. Probably. Does. Not. Care.

Until the next round, cheers.

~ 'Sunshine'

Chapter 61: I AM ON A FRECKIN' ROLL!!! [2 NEW TEE CHAPTERS!!!]

Yep, y'all read proper. Two brand effin' new Chapters in my Trans-Europa story. Both of them done somewhere in the 6-7 hour timespan. Not. bad. at. all. Chapter 2's even got a good bit of German in there, as well as music!!

I hope you all are following along somehow, and that you guys like the story.

Until the next round, Cheers!!




...oh, and as of yesterday Mike is now in Scotland. I don't know whether to say good luck, have fun, don't do anything I wouldn't do, or good effin' riddance, so I'll just say, what.the.eff.ever.

~ 'Sunshine'

Chapter 60: ...alright, I'm back in. Somehow. [The tears are done... for now.]

Alright, I’ve had my tears.
I’ve had my dose of heartache.

What’s done is done.
I can’t change the past.
It’s time to move on

even if it hurts me to.

I’m not as strong as I used to be,
as strong as I thought I was,
as strong as I hoped to be.
And it takes a real person
to know when
defeat is inevitable,
strength fails,
and tears are no sign of weakness.

Cupid has won.
The ex has left.
And I’m still standing

miraculously.

I know I still have
more tears to cry but,
that’s fine.
That’s okay.
I can deal with this.

Perhaps… I’m a bit stronger
than I think I am.

Another race in this hectic life
is about to begin.
I better get to the starting line,
run for all it’s worth,
and do the best that I can.

I’m an unlovable,
but perhaps I’m still worth something…

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Until the next round...

~ 'Sunshine'

Chapter 59: Okay, last post of the night, I promise. [Another update, and more thoughts.]

Yeah, the ex was a bit slow to noticed, but he noticed. The birthday wishes. Of course, at this point, I'm feeling a bit cynical but, that's just as well. I don't mean to be cynical but, love is nothing more but a fairy tale, a hopeless cause, a lie. Yes, calling love a downright lie is probably wrong, but let's review my circumstances.

Me and Cupid: mortal enemies since my birth.

As far as relationships go, the number one reason why guys break up with me [and I say this because the only time I broke up with someone was because I got cheated on!!] is, "Let's just be friends." And then they find someone who they *possibly* end up spending their happily-ever-after with. And where the hell does that leave me?

Simple. Bitter, cynical, and pretty effin' pissed.

The worst bit is that, with the exception of that one time, it happens with EVERY RELATIONSHIP I END UP IN!! And it hurts. It's the worst feeling in the world. I hate it.

I guess, I'll never really see the love I bled out of my heart really returned to me. Except maybe in very small doses but... let's be real.

What are the odds--what are the actual odds--that there really is someone out there for me? To hell with this, I'd rather never let anyone get close to me again. Just that, I don't mean to be cynical or negative about it but, it's true. This is the unfortunate reality that I have to face every single fucking day that I breathe. It's worth enough tears to drown this planet. I'll be as bitter and as distant as I wish to be, thank you so very much.

I hate watching happy people in love sometimes. It just... it just saddens me more, embitters me. I try to overrun the odds, turn the tables. And it backfires.

All the while, Cupid challenged me to find someone. Someone who'd love me for me, that I could love for him. And then, Cupid turns the tables, causes the strings of life to tangle with the string that ties up hearts. The boyfriend lets me go, finds the one he was meant to be strung up with. Cupid laughs at me in triumph. And where does that leave me?

Simple. In the reject pile with all the losers.

I'm sure that you'll recover - you're a smart, tough, beautiful girl. Don't let this make you think that you're worth any less - it's nothing that you did wrong, just circumstances didn't work out.

That was what my ex wrote me last Monday. But... does he realize...

no, he'll never realize. Because he'll never understand.

Smart? Yes, but come on. Right now my intelligence is being put to decent use trying to type coherent sentences while NOT BREAKING DOWN INTO TEARS!!!

Tough? I suppose but... let's face it. I'm not as tough as I thought I was. I'm not as tough as either of us thought.

Beautiful? I am really doubting it. I get stuck having to swat away the scary sorts that want to do all sorts of creepy crap to me [remember the mexican incident earlier this week, on monday, changeover?].

And anyway, all the good guys are either taken, or they just don't give a damn.

So don't tell me that all is possible, that love is real. Love is only meant for those who are lucky, not for the ones who stand different against the world. Cupid's intention: to make Sunshine unlovable no matter how sweet she is. And news flash: the little winged bastard is succeeding. Badly.

Excelsians, let's all be realistic: I was meant to be the friend, never the loved.

And that's the worst reality that I can ever face.



...I think I'm gonna go home and cry for a while. I'm really starting to find more reasons to be cynical and less hopeful for my future...

My circumstances will never work out. I suppose my ex is right.



~ Jenn

Chapter 58b: Why, good God, why... [...yep, more bad news.]

Alright folks, as if I haven't felt like misery enough.

Just got word from the ex. For a lack of better words, it's over. For good.

Nice bit about it: at least he liked the birthday wish.











...exactly. HE DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE.

You know, these ending 4 months of '07 are going to be a lot worst than I thought.

So... with everything said... and all done...

as the tears plunker down... and all hope is gone...

when darkness surrounds... and fear sets in...

when spirit is gone... and feeling is lost...





what happens now?

Meh, only for the sake of trying to lighten up this damn blog... because things have just been nothing short of a depression zone now...

"Radioactivity" live. Yep. Kraftwerk.



Enjoy.

Chapter 58: This week, this morning, this moment. [I think it's time to finish what was started...]

I've been single for over a week and a half, and to be honest with you lot, it's time to 'fess up.

After all the thinking-through, the ill-tempers flaring this week and the chaos of the upcoming inspection, with all the insanity that I couldn't handle, and somehow already lacking the nerve to talk to Rex because he doesn't seem all that interested in me [mike, you little jinxing...!], I have come to two conclusions the day before said ex's birthday/kick-off of Operation Scotland.

One, Cupid's won, and I've given up the fight. I'm done.

And
Two, I'm still *miserably, mind you!* in love with that one ex.

No, not the one who wants me back. But the one who left a fragile heart hanging on until it fell off the table of life and shattered on disaster's floor.

Yes, you all read proper. Cupid's won, and I can't get over my ex. And to be honest with you all, I'm pathetic. Miserably pathetic.

I guess you can say, I've tried, I've struggled. I've fought tooth and nail. And for what!? Sweet, miserable nothingness. Absolutely in vain. Just as I bled my heart out for whatever remained of my ex and I before the break-up.

Originally, this was going to be Mike's "Happy Birthday/Good luck in Scotland" post, especially for him, in which I was going to be fairly nice about the whole matter, and then actually be a bit harsh on the matter [sarcastically], and back to being nice. Sort of a "Happy Birthday/NOW GET THE EFF OUT OF HERE/and Good luck to ya!" kind of post.

Thinking through this morning, on break, talking with Coworker Tabby, well... let's just say, the original birthday/bashing post idea sort of got slumpered for... for... for this!! This miserable declaration of defeat against my greatest arch-nemesis of all time. This humble affirmation that I'm still in love with someone that I'm afraid I'll never have again. This quiet misery of hiding in a corner of the crew room crying because everything that I once thought over the summer would be alright... has all gone wrong.

This... wasn't what I wanted to face as fall was approaching, my birthday coming up in less than a month [4 weeks from today, to be exact], biggest inspection at work on Saturday, and Halloween-costume hunting next week. This just wasn't what I wanted, not at all what I needed. But this is what I got. And this is what I have to work with.

I said it before, and I'll say it again: Life sucks.

I'm still a fool. I'm still in love. I suppose that makes me pathetic. Or just someone who's holding on, no matter what the odds are. Not sure what this makes of me. Or maybe Mike's just looking at this, shaking his head going "Geez Jenn, just let it go..."

The only problem is, I can't.

And if realizing all of this makes me even more of the fool that I've become, then I stand proudly and take it all in. And, in spite of the tears, smile. Because whatever's left of my sanity, my loyalty, my dignity and my sense of hope, my inner cheer and my sense of quirkiness, my lost joy in love and the promise of a better day...

all of this is something that nobody can take from me. Ever.

If I were given one more day, one more hour, one more moment with him... if I were given the chance to rewind the clock, stop all of time for a moment before he left and tell him how I really feel... if the opportunity presented itself, car fixed and all, for me to drive all the freckin' way to Lakeland just to tell him how much I still love him...

at the earliest heartbeat, I would dare not waste it.

And yet, I'm still a dreamer, aren't I? I'm still a foolish dreamer that can't get over a break-up that's numbed most of me for a while now. I'm still someone in love... terribly in love. And if that brings about the result of people calling me 'stupid' or 'foolish' or 'immature' then, whatever! Let the namecalling commence. I'm a foolish girl, still sadly-ever-after in love, AND DAMN PROUD OF IT!!

[I mean, not as proud as I'm a child of God, but y'all get the idea.]

If even only for one second a day a thought of me crossed his mind... if ever he still had [and maybe still has?] a place for me in his heart...

it would've been enough.

If there was only one moment he had before he left on that plane to just call me and say "Hey Sunshine"... if ever he thought to himself "I wonder what that silly girl is up to... I hope she's alright" and smiled...

it would've been enough.

If ever, those last few days before he left for Lakeland, he ever said what was on his mind... if ever, those last few days before he left for Lakeland, I told him how much I loved him, for those last solemn moments...

it would've been enough.

If, while he was away, he would've just, at least, let me know he still loved me... if before this all fell apart... just to hear him tell me that he loved me, for one final time...

it would've been enough.

It would've been enough.

Why did I wait so long... perhaps this is my fault because I didn't say any of this sooner? I know it's not my fault we broke up [or so he says] but... I don't know. If I could change whatever could've been changed...

Alas, it's too late to change anything now. All I can do is give up, watch Cupid as he swirls around in victory, and cry in miserable defeat. Cupid's won, Mike's over me, and there isn't a single thing I can do about it.

All that's left to do is cry. Just, cry. And wish he had told me he loved me just one time last.

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If he ever wanted a second chance, I'd give him that. And a million more chances if he wanted them.

So yeah, hey Mike, Happy Birthday. I still love you. And I wish you Godspeed en route to Scotland. Don't do anything I wouldn't do. You know better.

Until the next round...

~ 'Sunshine'

P.S. 6:02 P.M. - ...yeah, I feel better. Lots better. Glad I got that off my nerves!!

Chapter 57: New Story Alert!! [And this time, the inspiration is Kʁaftvɛɐk!!]

If you guessed that Kʁaftvɛɐk = Kraftwerk, you really must have been paying a lot of attention to the TUE blog!!

Yep, y'all read proper--I'm writing a Kraftwerk fan fiction, set in the future, well after the Angelos arc of the Excelsios SKC has ended. [Try the year 2347 CEE (Common Earth Era) to be exact!] The setting is Eastern Europe, somewhat similar to the 1940's-esque, but futuristic and pretty effin' cool. I'll have to post up pics of character ideas within the next couple of weeks. Hopefully sooner.

Seriously, I definitely want to put up a good story. I think this story just might be it. Hopefully.

Trans-Europe Express [not the album/song, the story blog!!]

The only post on there so far is the main storyline and the cast of the 8 main good guys. Hopefully before the weekend I'll get the Prelude up, as I already know what to do for most of the songs and Chapters for the story. I'm just... damnit, I'm just psyched for this story!! So much so that, in light of the recent events of this past week [yes, the break-up...], I'm actually postponing the Angelos arc of the Excelsios SKC storyline because I have to make extremely necessary revisions to the Angelos arc and, to be honest with you, it's just gonna aggrevate the hell out of me to do this at the moment. Hence, the thrill over this Kraftwerk story. I'm definitely excited for it.

In other odd news of the day, it's the Transition to Lunch, alias Changeover [oh and, today at work was hectic like nobody's business!!], and this Mexican-lookin' guy [trust me, he wasn't cute!] had ordered at the speaker. He finally shows up at my window and, of course, I've got my game face on. [For those who don't know, I tend to be very serious during Changeover. While I tend to be very polite, I don't really smile at all, because Changeover is my least favorite part of the day. I absolutely hate Changeover. And hence, the game face--serious, yet tangible. Does that make sense?] So I give the Mexican his change and he's like, 'You have pretty hair, baby!' I give him this look and warn him politely that, unless he was my boyfriend [which thank God he wasn't--he defo was NOT my type either!], he had no right whatsoever to call me 'baby' and think he could get away with it. His response: he wanted to be my boyfriend! My response: I don't think so!!

So yeah, that's my creepy-guy rejection of the day. Oi.

In other news, tomorrow I'm off [thank goodness], so I'm hanging out with my friend Naruto [no, not the anime character, but a friend of mine I codenamed 'Naruto' because he likes the anime] for the first time in months. No, I don't have a crush on him or anything, so Mike, whatever you do, do NOT get started on Naruto!! [Bad enough I'm still pathetic over the damn break-up.]

Ani [my 'big brother' by 'adoption'--long story] and I went for dinner at the Coffee Bistro in Downtown Canterburia [my codename for DeLand] Saturday night, and of course Rex was there. He was reading 'Lexicon of Stupidity'--which he recommended. Next week I'll probably go find that book down. Sounds like a good read.

Final mental note to self--pick out codename for Rex before week's over.

Oh and, it's one month and a day to my 24th Birthday. NEWS FLASH - I am getting old. A birthday coming up, and of course, someone's gonna start asking soon, Whatcha want for your Birthday this year, Jenn? To which I answer with two words that should get the message clear:

Surprise me.

Because, let's face it. It's not like I actually would want anything for my Birthday [or even for Christmas, for that matter].

...okay, maybe this year I want something--preferably Kraftwerk's Trans-Europe Express album... maybe? *cue in angelic halo* Pretty please?

So yeah, I guess that's it. Main news is the story TEE. Go check out the opening stuff post about it, cast and all.

And until the next round, Cheers!!

~ 'Sunshine'

Chapter 56: WHAT THE FU--!? [*sigh* At long last, my ex has spoken. And it's enough for me to panic!!]

Fucking hell, it's trouble.

You just know it's trouble when your ex types in the following...

Hey -
read your latest blogpost. Good luck with Rex! Don't be too hard on the guy ;)

AAARRRGGGHHH!!! DAMNIT!!!

I told you, it's trouble. And I'm under a flag of absolute panic for this one.

Having almost survived one chaotic week [and about to ram straight into another!], with Choir returning and the Scottish Underground Express about to be treated to a visit from the ex and that dreaded inspection in a week, plus the added possibility that there might not be much of anything between Rex and I [here's hoping against hope but who the heck am I kidding!?], when my ex wishes me well on something like this...

I don't really know whether to laugh, cry, or scratch his eyes out.

Yeah, I'm that nervewrecked about it.

Plus, given my luck in the love department, I'm already good and ready to find Cupid, kill him, and have his head and wings proudly mounted on my back drive-thru wall. Oh, and his head has to be pierced through with one of his own arrows.

...as you guys can guess, things aren't as good as I would've hoped. He's moved on. I'm the one having the hard time accepting the fact that it's over.

Oh, and guess what's the most amusing *not!* bit of the matter...

This is the first I've heard of the ex since the break-up on Monday. What's worse: THAT'S ALL HE NOTED IN THE E-MAIL!!!

Does it really, really look like I'm going to pull through as easily as hoped... especially with what's just happened? Damn me to hell, just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, it actually does!!



[don't be surprised if what happens between rex and i doesn't work out...]

~ 'Sunshine' [until the next round...]