Chapter 246 ~ Blind dates are a *BEEP!*.

Yes, I am calling this one out for last night. If there is one thing that EVERYBODY must know about me, it's the following--

I can't stand blind dates. Period.

[Currently listening to|"Peppermint Pig" (12" version) - The Cocteau Twins.]

So right now, things are a bit, erm... unsettled within me as of last night. I mean, well, okay. The guy, he's older than me. [Okay, I suppose I can handle that, right?] And he thinks I'm pretty cool. [Eh, fine and dandy I guess. Right?] But then the conversation kinda turned to a matter that will NOT be brougth up here. [Uh oh. Things just got a bit, erk, not-so-lovely...]

And then, well, he kissed me good night.

[Two words: RED FLAG.]

So, that said... WHAT THE F@#K WAS I THINKING!? I mean, this guy and I, we kinda "clicked" but we didn't "click", y'know? We got along well as friends but on my end, there just wasn't any romantic spark, period. And when the conversation went on the uncalled-for, I got a bit alarmed within... the kind of 'alarmed' that makes one go, "Aw f@#k" in disgust.

Yeah, it didn't help when he kissed me good night. Just, no.

I mean, yeah. You know what, I'm damn awesome like that. On the other hand, I'm not up for gettin' in anybody's pants anytime soon. He wants to take me out this Saturday night--and I, stupid ID10T that I am to be so damn nice, said yes to it. Though, we're heading to daVinci's this Saturday night. Hopefully he can be kept at bay to the point where he WON'T try to kiss me. Because, I'll be honest--he caught me off guard. It's bad enough he is *way* too into me already, much too soon.

Wishing things just weren't this f@#ked up right now...

~ me

Chapter 245-2 ~ Chaos

So Hideki *finally* explained himself today--finally. Though, long story short, hell in a handbasket. The major kicker--he had to move back to Orlando's East Side. Which means he won't be able to move down to to DeLand... darn. *sigh* Ah well, at least he finally explained himself. On the other hand, he does know how I felt about his up-and-out. And he did apologise too. So, for now, things are calm and settled a bit, though it is going to be very interesting as to just how things will go on down from here. My call on this is, let's wait and see how things go with this renewed... well... whatever the heck this is now.

In the meantime, I have a bit of a crisis... seems like someone pissed off a good friend of mine, big time. And the StarKnight Captain is NOT happy about this. I think it's time to hold the lantern of Hope, with the light of Love shining bright, to support my friend. I'm fixing for what could possibly be a long night ahead...

StarKnight Guardian Power... GAME ON...

~ me

Chapter 245 ~ Brutally Honest

"If I may be so bold..."

[from "Blood On My Hands" by the Sundays, my Song of the Day]

So today I sit here, almost two months since I fell apart with the question of "WTF!?" echoing in my head like it was the only thing I could say. And to be honest... I am having a helluva time trying to figure out the answer to that.

Please excuse me while I go find out...

Raising hell the likes of which the whole Underground cannot comprehend...

~ the avenging StarKnight of Love.

Chapter 244 ~ Two Weeks Later

Song of the Day|"Wonderwall" - Oasis

I miss looking at the world and laughing at it [with him].
I miss having a moment of slight confusion [with him].
I miss talking about random, silly nonsuch [with him].
I miss taking on the world fearlessly [with him].

Two weeks after we said, "I'll see you later,"
my heart has never felt more broken.

It hurts sometimes...



Dear Peter,

The Choir has only been on vacation two weeks. I miss you already. And of course I feel all the more pathetic about it. I guess I'm still smitten over you, or perhaps I just miss one of my best buddies. But, it's not the same without you.

I have been facing the world more boldly, more courageously, more fearlessly. But on the other hand, I don't have many people to share my adventures with, or get a good cheerful chin-up. So, my summer it seems is off to a bit of a rough start.

Things are not the same without you. I am, while still a crazy kick-butt punk, still a coward. But I think of you... well, I think of you a lot. And I have memories to keep me smiling, and your words and lessons I learned from you to encourage me. I am sure that the Choir feels that same way, of missing and remembering you.

So far there has been no word about who the new Choirmaster will be. Already I am worried, almost nervous, because I don't know who [s]he will be or what [s]he is like. I don't even know if anything's gone on concerning that. The most I can do is trust in God and pray for the best.

How are you and Eric? How are things? How is your summer [so far]?

I miss you [but you already know that].

~ "Sunshine"