Chapter 212 ~ For His Sake...

So, things entirely improved with Roboter and I. Surprisingly, after all was said and done, especially considering this, the mark of 8 weeks full of studying, lots of praying, and perhaps the longest month full of grief leading up to this.

Yesterday, summed up in one picture:

So, yes, that IS my Cross. I am officially a Daughter of the King now. Imagine my tears and thrill when Roboter congratulated me over the phone. After the longest month, the biggest encouragement is when you're surrounded by friends and loved ones when you take up that Cross. And it's not going to be easy being a Daughter--it never is when you're a Child of God. But, God is in my corner, and I shall be as best diligent as possible in my perseverance of upholding my lifelong vow of Prayer, Service and Evangelism. I'm sure there'll be some people who just won't comprehend it, and I'm sure there'll even be some people against it--perhaps even upset--with the decision I have made and the step I have taken. Yes, I'm a post-modern day nun, and the only mark I have to show it, really, is that very Cross... which right now is pinned on my uniform. [Yes, it's a pin/pendant. How cool is that?]

So, I'm still celebrating the fact that I've taken a big step in my Christian path. Whoever said punks can't be Daughters just got PWN'd...!

*sigh* I'm quite happy. These past three days have gone rather interesting but, all in all they've been the best three days [Saturday, yesterday and today] in a long while. The few that know of my being a Daughter [even though I wanna tell it to the whole freckin' world!!!] have been whimsically humored enough to share in my joy.

I can't help but be happy. Very, very happy. And I can't help but share that joy around.

And on that bombshell... until the next round,
and For His Sake...

~ me

Chapter 211 ~ Untold Joy: A letter to Roboter

Roboter... if you EVER do find this...

...where... where are you?

We haven't talked in days. It seems almost like forever, the last time I told you I loved you. But now, I don't know where you are... you won't tell me anything. I don't know what to do... because you're what stands in the way of an otherwise good week. Hell, I've been looking forward to this weekend...

Today, busy day at work. And yet everything went so well. I wish I could tell you all about it. But... no... not a single word from you.

Tomorrow... I'll be a Daughter of the King. I'll be bravely wearing my Cross of the Order. I might even take pictures. I...

I want to tell you all about this. But... I can't, because you won't let me.

This little Captain's life is at a quiet standstill. I went through so much, sacrificed as I could, to scrape time for us. And now... oh, I have time.

I HAVE TIME.

But now... I don't have you. Why...

why?

Was it something I said, something I did? Did Siren, that jerk... did he say something, did he do something? Did something happen? I don't know... I DON'T KNOW. And I can't fix whatever happened--if it can even be fixed--because you won't let me. Because I don't know.

*sigh* I don't know what to do... as this is now the one matter that brings down an otherwise joyous occasion such as tomorrow.

So, that all being said, I will put matters this way:

I am done worrying. Unless you want to see me cry, half-sickened to death just because of a good long time of silence. I have things to concern myself with, and the few friends who DO know of this, because of my being able to let them know of such... they are now the lifeline that you once were.

If you want to talk, I don't care what it's about, you have my number.

I feel better now, saying what needs to be said. Roboter, I don't know what's going on... I wish I knew. I wish you'd tell me. But since you won't... and because I've tried time and again, all in vain, to get a hold of you... then I will not press this further. Whenever you need me, you know where I am.

I'm sorry. And I love you.

~ me