So today's my day off. Not much has changed, aside from a lot. I haven't seen Hideki-chan in a bit over a week. More than a week in fact. And I know he's been busy. The most I can do is to just pray and watch over him from a distance. I hate how I feel though--it's almost like love. It shouldn't be love, so why the f@#k do I feel so... so...
God, it better not be love. Or else my heart's gonna get freckin' shot. I hate it. I'm scared. And the problem is, when someone gets too close... they leave. Either that or, great person but the timing is just so wrong. And I fear that, it's bound to be more a combination of the two. I mean, I really like Hideki-chan. A lot. It hurts. The most I can do is make the best of it and just keep praying for the best.
Speaking of Hideki-chan, I actually wrote a nice letter today. It was small, only two pages, front only. And we're talking a size of 7"x5", wide-ruled! But, the Boss and I did get to talk for a bit and, I think I impressed him pretty decently. I mean, I'm sure Hideki-chan told him about me a bit but, I felt it was a proper idea to introduce myself to him personally and hand him the letter. All in all, noblest thing I've done all week. I can only hope the Boss has something good to say to Hideki-chan about our little chance-meeting this morning.
...but, we haven't spoken in so long... the silence... hurts...
Meanwhile, today is my day off. Hurrah for Wednesdays. And I get to take on my responsibilities as Secretary in my Daughters of the King Chapter. I have, gosh... some 6 to 8 months' worth of notes to sort out for Chapter President Marcia?? Eh, yeah. Thankfully though, she has a copy of every Agenda for the meetings, so I just need to send her the minutes for all the meetings I have. And luckily, they're not that much anyway--it's pretty much notes and what-all's been discussed. Not too much to sort out. So, I think I just might be able to get it all squared away and taken care of and all that. This might be fun.
And, two songs of note. The first one is the Song of the Week: "Put the Message in the Box" - World Party
The other is the Song of the Day--and dedicated to my Choirmaster [because, as I'm continuing what I call the Mind-Expansion Project (which was started back around Christmastime), if Peter hasn't heard this (and I am assuming he hasn't heard it!) then, he's in for a nice musical treat]: "Forever Young" - Youth Group [song originally done by alphaville]
And on *that* whim and bombshell, time to finally take on the notes from all those meetings. Yes, I just spent two hours on the computer in the current "Underground" [still laptop'less unfortunately], and writing out this post and checkin' out YouTube and clearing out some 20-freckin'-million e-mails and... and...
Well, after surviving a 5 A.M.-1 P.M. Monday shift, 12-8 P.M. and Kids Night on Tuesday, OPENING yesterday, and still half-asleep after my 5 A.M.-1 P.M. today, I am getting this done and out of the way so I can get a nap in. Happy Christmas Eve, Underground Citizens. I have to be in the Choir Room at 9:30 P.M. tonight. No, I am NOT spending Christmas Eve with the family this year--I'm too tired, too irritated and sleep-deprived. And if I have to go to Christmas Dinner with the family tonight, someone's gonna get yelled at by a rather irked me. And 'irked' is putting that nicely. I'm sorry but... no. Not this year. This isn't the year to subject myself to extra stress on top of the hell and high water I've already dealt with so far. In fact, I think I've been saying "Bah humbug" more than "Happy Christmas" this year--far more. That's a first--it's also pretty scary too.
Sooo, that said, here's a Thursday Tradition filled with YouTubes of music, fun and holiday cheer. Turn up the tune'age. And raise a cup of cheer for me--or at least, try to anyway, if you're as bleah as me.
"Wonderful Christmastime" - Paul McCartney *Old-School Alternation Song of the Week*
"The Chanukah Song" - Adam Sandler *Dedicated to my Jewish second family. Much love + respect!*
"Santa Claus Is Coming to Town" - Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band *Favorite version of the Christmas classic*
"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" - James Taylor *Christmas Anthem 2008 + Song of the Week* *Dedicated to family and friends within the Underground, with love*
"Oi! to the World!" - The Vandals *Christmas Anthem 2007* *No Doubt did a fantabulous cover of this tune!*
"Christmas Wrapping" - The Waitresses *Christmas Anthem 2009*
Merry Christmas, with lots of love. Make the best of it, even in face of the worst of it.
Yes. I lost count. BUT, it's gonna be an interesting Thursday Tradition, because for the first Tradition in months, it's a good ol' slew of YouTubes. But, trust me. It's all good.
First and foremost, here's a bit of a surprise from Newsweek. And while it doesn't touch on everything, it *does* touch on some of the most memorable stuff that went down in the last decade. Yes, it's almost 2010 already. That said... The Decade in 7 Minutes - Newsweek
Next up, ah yes. One of those pop-ish, overplayed songs. But you know what? I love it. It was my Song of the Week for last week [despite a 6-day workweek and major temper tantrum from hell]. I find myself singing along to it at work. Yes, don't lie--it's addictive. Boom Boom Pow - Black Eyed Peas
From the heart of the Indie Intelligence files, an all-but-forgotten favorite song of mine. And, in fact, it's what I'm considering as my Classic Indie Intelligence Song of the Year for 2009, which I will be doing sometime next month for the final Thursday Tradition of this year--and so much as this DECADE! That said, from the year 1994, a 15-year-old gem, Skull - Sebadoh
And digging deeper into the Indie Intelligence files, a brand-spankin'-new addition. One of many, actually. But, here's a really interesting one, particularly as the song came out in 1978. Fair warning--it is DEFINITELY not of the usualities within the Indie Intelligence files. All the more reason it BELONGS in the I2 files! All I can say now is, you. have. been. warned! Warm Leatherette - The Normal
Surfacing somewhere slightly closer to the usualities of the I2 files, is a song that has also been a favorite. Well, more like a favorite of the I2 files' usualities. Great song all in all. Grand classic. Love My Way - The Psychedlic Furs
Once again, this song surfaces for the first time in about a month or so. And it's a nomination for Anthem of the Year for this year for me. We all know this tune... LOL! And, yes, this -is- the video for it. Sing along, you Underground loons... Stand or Fall - The Fixx
Now, sing-along done, get your ass up and dance. Yes, y'all read proper. Because this is another new addition to the I2 files--and THIS one, y'all didn't see coming. In fact, this was [and SO is] the anthem to Halloween 2009. And to think this was old-school freestyle musique!! Now, that said, GET YOUR ASS UP AND DANCE!! Don't Stop the Rock - FreeStyle
And, to close it all up, is the Song of the Week. I *love* this song. And at this point, the lyrics speak up enough for me, especially the chorus. The song is awesomeness. And it's my *Song of the Week* This and That - Michael Penn
We will return to your regularly-scheduled madness tomorrow. I promise.
For the first time in a very, very long time, I confess: my heart is confused.
No, I'm serious. I... I don't know what the f@#k to do.
You have no idea what the Helen of Troy I mean, do you? Well, sha'up and let me talk.
See, right now, I have absolutely no clue on how Yuuki is, granted the situation at present. I haven't really spoken with him since Thursday, and at the moment I'm afraid the situation isn't looking very good at all. For all I know, he's probably just too busy to even have time to want to see me... yes, I know, it's harsh. And perhaps it's cruel of me to think that way but, when I face the reality that... that I'm not going to see him again, no matter how much I want to, or how hard I try to make an effort... it makes that much of a difference. This is how I'm trying to handle the heartache. This is how I have to handle the heartache. I... I have to face the fact that it's already time to let him go.
On the other hand... the friend of mine who introduced me to him in the first place... Latin-O... well... he... he kissed me goodnight on All Saints morning. Yes, at around 4 or 5 A.M. Sunday morning. After we finally got back into town from our insane Halloween adventure, complete with dancing, Pac-Man and a near-fight at an iHop. Now mind, this had been the best Halloween I'd gone throgh in quite a few years, and I can't quite remember the last time I had an outrageous 26-27 hours awake straight through. But this... well, this had quite an interesting twist when he kissed me goodnight. And, well, while he's been a friend of mine for some 3 or 4 years, and while I've kinda-sorta liked him all the while, I hadn't really found myself looking at him a bit differently until this past weekend. Sooo... yeah...
Hence, my heart is confused. I mean, it's... yeah... very confused... I mean, how the hell do I seem to find myself thinking of someone else differently, as I'm slowly letting go of another person because real life is so damn cold to us? It's a rather startling--and frightening--epiphany. So, for the moment, I'm just going to keep proper silence and let it all sink in, try to make some sense of it all. Or at least try to make time to make sense of it. Time right now is very, very scarce this week.
This is what my work schedule looks like: Today: Worked 5 A.M.-1 P.M. and ran some errands. Tuesday 3 November [tomorrow]: Work [12-8 P.M.] + Kids Night [5-8 P.M.] Wednesday 4 November: Work [5 A.M.-2 P.M.] + INSPECTION! Thursday 5 November through Saturday 7 November: Work [5 A.M.-1 P.M.]
Sooo... uhm... yeah... tonight seems to be my only free night. Damn. *sigh* It's my only night to get anything done, basically. Between thoughts and work and my busy life... I fear I might not have much time for much else. Probably sleep, IM and eating. And a phone conversation or two, but that's besides the point.
In light of the confusion of the heart... I present the song of the following...
Song of the Week--> "The Boss" - Diana Ross [This is the Boss D. Morales Remix, by the way.]
Enjoy the tune'age, folks. I have a long week to brace myself for, an Inspection to rock, and a helluva lot to think about.
Today, after a rather rough week, and not even cheerful in the midst of Choir starting up again and my being Secretary of my D.O.K. Chapter... part of me feels missing. Terribly missing. I don't feel sound, I am not myself. And it hurts. This heart is breaking in the worst possible manner. It... it sucks. It really does. And mind you, it's one month to my 26th Birthday and, to be honest with y'all, I am not really looking forward to it, given the way things have been this past week.
I don't know. Maybe I'm just... I'm just tired. Sick and tired of damn near everything. Part of me wants to scream "Bah f@#king humbug!" and yet, I can't. And between the health-care controversy with the so-called "death panels" [yes, I heard plenty enough about it] and the headache and a half at work [especially with tensions rising, big time, between Manager Carlina and myself] AND perhaps the worst bout of a broken heart... I've come this close to screaming that I've damn-near had it.
*sigh* The longest month of the year has begun. Lovely.
Sooo, for those of us who's missing some part of ourselves... including myself... this is dedicated to us empty souls. *Song of the Week* "One of Our Submarines" ~ Thomas Dolby
Welcome [back] to the 90's!! Yep, that's the theme of this month's all four Thursday Traditions. And it kicks off today with Pearl Jam--whom, I'll admit, I wasn't really a big fan of much. But... they've grown on me now! [I even have a mix c.d. of 19 tracks of awesomeness to show for it!] So, they're probably the one grunge band that I won't tire of. And, they're still going.
That said, 10 of the proper musical gems by Eddie Vedder and the guys, Pearl Jam.
~ "Evenflow"
~ "Jeremy"
~ "Go"
~ "Daughter"
~ "Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town"
~ "Corduroy"
~ "Hail Hail"
~ "Given To Fly"
~ "Wish List" *Song of the Week*
~ "World-Wide Suicide"
And there y'all have it--10 good tunes from Seattle's finest, Pearl Jam!
Enjoy the noise ~ next week it's all about Oasis, and the Random 20 returns in full force with this band whose music helped me survive middle school! This promises to be a lot of fun, so tune in next week for some of Manchester's finest!
Alrighty then, gang. Before I get down to the tunage of the day, please, PLEASE excuse me and allow me to admit just how much of an absolute absent-minded ID10T I've been. To put it this way, everyone remembers I did the Thursday Tradition on Toad the Wet Sprocket last week, right? Well... does anyone remember Chapter 202? Aptly titled Temperance? Scroll down a bit, then scroll back up.
...okay, back? Good.
Because, yes... I posted the Spotlight on them. TWICE. >.< Epic FAIL on my part, and major apologies on a repeat performance, fellow Citizens of the Underground. That just about goes to show y'all just how much I was really paying attention between trying to update a blog and preparing for a visit from Roboter last Friday. Go me.
Now, that said, two bands have my almost-undivided attention this week inside the Tradition. One goes by the name of Better Than Ezra, the other goes by the name of Semisonic. This week there will be NO Random 20 Countdown. Instead it's gonna be ten tunes, five from each band as far as my favorites are concerned.
And with that, let's kick things back to the 90's a bit, shall we?
Band: Better Than Ezra ~ ~ "In the Blood" *Song of the Week 1/2*
~ "Good"
~ "Rosealia"
~ "Normal Town"
~ "Desperately Wanting"
Band: Semisonic ~ ~ "Delicious"
~ "Closing Time"
~ "Singing In My Sleep"
~ "Made To Last"
~ "This Will Be My Year" *Song of the Week 2/2*
Aaannnddd, there ya go, folks! Ten quality tunes from the 90's, which probably helped make this not so bad an era. *LOL* You know, I should make May's Thursday Traditions all 90's related, sooo: next week's Thursday Tradition spotlight will be on Pearl Jam!
Yes, Pearl Jam. I *am* a fan of Pearl Jam. What?
So, this is how I'm looking at it for the next month, Thursday Tradition-wise: Thursday 7 May ~ Pearl Jam Thursday 14 May ~ Oasis Thursday 21 May ~ Radiohead Thursday 28 May ~ The Verve
Yes, Pearl Jam, and then the three bands who shaped my school years. I am definitely looking forward to Thursdays this May!! [Which, by the way, starts tomorrow. Already!] In the meantime, enjoy the tunage! I have a funny feeling this is gonna be a fun twist to the Tradition in the coming weeks ahead...
The Starian Union Radio Random 20 for Thursday 23 April 2009
1] Corporal Brown 2] Chile 3] All I Want 4] Dam Would Break 5] Something's Always Wrong 6] Fall Down 7] One Wind Blows 8] I Think About 9] Crazy Life 10] P.S. 11] Walk On The Ocean 12] Come Down 13] Way Away 14] Are We Afraid 15] Come Back Down 16] Windmills 17] Good Intentions 18] I Will Not Take These Things For Granted 19] Amnesia 20] Whatever I Fear
Honorable Mention] "Eyes Open Wide" - Song of the Week
And... well... I have more drama in my hands but, with Roboter coming to town tomorrow, I think it's best to leave the drama alone. The person responsible for starting said drama... he doesn't matter to me anymore.
Well as everyone knows, I have a life. And all the drama that goes with it. Between family, work, church and life, it's not easy attempting to update a blog. With that said, I do apologise for the absence. Though, I do have some tunage to share with y'all... anybody remember Squeeze? Well, I found some interesting songs that I'd been hearing on the old-school indie station as of lately, and I'm sharin' them with you guys. Also, I have some damn-good news. Seriously. Are y'all sitting down?
*ahem*
Roboter is coming down to visit me this upcoming Friday.
*YYYEEEAAAHHHOOOOOO!!!*
This upcoming Wednesday night is the final Discipleship class of the year. Deacon Nana's done an AWESOME job of teaching the rest of the classes since... when? November? December? She's an awesome teacher, allows for plenty of sharing time... which often ends up having us finish class up to ten minutes late! But, who cares? Deacon Nana is an awesome teacher anyway, and it's been a proper honor to have been in her class, because she really is a good teacher.
That said, I survived--I made it through my study guide training to become a D.O.K. [you know, Daughter of the King]! And, it was worth the discipline and training too, it's going to be a bit difficult to establish a good proper set rhythm to pray. But, I do think I'll be able to make the effort. I can, and I will, with God's help of course!
Now, onward to the music! Of course, it's a spotlight on Squeeze, and on three songs in particular. Now, the first one, you SO should be familiar with. It is that one song they are just oh-so-famous for... "Tempted" ~ Squeeze
As for these next two songs, they're tied for my Song of the Week. I just LOVE these two. Seriously. They were among their earlier hits, and I'm surprised I never really heard of these two songs until now. Which only goes to show that, mainstream radio seriously doesn't know what it's missing, really... "Cool For Cats" ~ Squeeze
"Pulling Mussels [From a Shell]" ~ Squeeze
Well... on that crazy minor notation, enjoy the tunage, as I know I'll be posting some more in the coming days and weeks. Annnnnd, maybe we'll get a new Facebook pic up soon... with Yours Quirky and a certain special someone...!!
Today, for the first time in ages, I saw my ex Siren. And I totally overcame him like one would not believe.
Yes, he came over to the apartment this afternoon so we could finally get some proper closure to this whole mess that started a year ago, when we got together this time last year. Much of the hour was spent in silence, before we talked about our situation over this on our own ends. After that I was kind of gracious enough to forgive him [memo to all--it's the Christian thing to do!], to which conversation took a slightly lighter term, including the debate of the term that was "normal." Everything was fine until the next thing I knew he was trying to tickle me to make me laugh and distract me. To which I reminded myself mentally of the Tarot card that was Temperance--or, Fortitude. Or Strength. So far so good, until one thing led to another, and the next thing I knew I had continued to succeed in the battle against Siren by blocking his advances by using my arms as a barrier. I think I did win this battle and, perhaps, the war altogether when he got pissed off to the point where he simply just got up and left. No "I'll see you later" or anything.
The whole point of the barrier, was the reminder to him [and I think it sunk in real good] that, I was as good as truly no longer his, that he couldn't have his way with me anymore and assume he'd get away with it. That this was truly over, and that he had to face the consequences and repurcussions of breaking my heart. Inasmuch as he admitted the fact that he missed me, it doesn't constitute as grounds whatsoever for me to be seen as his own little amusement.
You know, I had hoped that it wouldn't have to come to that, but it seems that I was wrong. And Siren's the only ex I've ever had with such a problem addressed to me as such. I think it's finally time this war was as good as over... inasmuch as I'm sorry that the conversation ended with another person I pissed off this month [long story, don't ask!], I don't regret standing up for myself in such a manner. In fact, I'm glad I toughened up the way I did. And you know, maybe I am better off this way.
I don't think he ever realised just how much he really did hurt me until I did what I did.
In the end, I know, it's going to hurt losing a friend like this, but if he can't understand the way things are and have to be, then I don't know what else to say other than,
Don't let my apartment door hit your ass on the way out.
On a lighter note, Tuesday night at work was our first Kids Night, with me and Sissy-Two's daughter Courtney on face-painting duty. Best three hours EVER! Which also means that now my Tuesday nights are full also because in the morning I'll be working 5-11 A.M., and I'll be back 5-8 P.M. for Kids Night. Joel brought his three daughters, Melissa and her sister Rosa brought their kids, we all got our faces painted. It was an absolute blast--Roboter, when you get down here, you WILL get your face painted by Yours Truly!
Thursday nights I'm also booked from 7-8 P.M. because of the Daughters of the King meetings--yes, I was once training to be a part of the D.O.K. some three years back [I think I blogged about it a bit on MySpace but I don't remember], then fell away when work scheduling became hectic. But at the beginning of Lent this year [late February] I vowed to myself I would get back into the D.O.K., and the girls were more than happy to have me back in the sisterhood.
This past Thursday I had devotionals for the D.O.K. meeting for the week and, as this month was the 5 year anniversary of my first, last and only suicide attempt, I shared with them my story, albeit in the third person so as to remain anonymous until it was time to reveal the scar on my left arm from some 10 years back and tell the girls who that young girl was. The fellow sisters were amazed and happy that I survived and am still here. One sister, JoAnn, compared my arm to the numbers of the WWII prisoners' arms--a strong testimony to the world of survival. So, inasmuch as I am not entirely proud of the pain I suffered, I'm proud that I could finally bring closure to the pain of a time of five years. I felt a lot better too after telling them about it--I was very happy, and fighting tears too!
So, Tuesdays through Thursdays my nights are full. Oh, and Sunday nights too, because of dinner with the parents.
Meanwhile it's Stetson Homecoming this weekend, and the block party is tonight. Welcome back to StarKnight Lieutenant Pouncer who'll be in town for the weekend to celebrate Homecoming!
And, because I know I owe some tuneage, The VERY LATE Thursday Tradition Spotlight on Toad the Wet Sprocket: Random - Top 20: 1] "Come Back Down" 2] "Whatever I Fear" 3] "Crazy Life" 4] "Chile" 5] "I Will Not Take These Things For Granted" 6] "All I Want" 7] "P.S." 8] "Good Intentions" 9] "Fall Down" 10] "I Think About" 11] "Corporal Brown" 12] "Windmills" 13] "Come Down" 14] "Walk On The Ocean" 15] "Are We Afraid" 16] "One Wind Blows" 17] "Something's Always Wrong" 18] "Dam Would Break" 19] "Amnesia" 20] "Way Away" Honorable Mention] "Eyes Open Wide" [from the best-of P.S. - A Toad Retrospective]
By the way, Morrissey'd been sick the better part of this past month, so the concert at the Hard Rock Live--as well as a good slew of others--got cancelled. No chance of rescheduling, but here's hoping he recovers well from whatever he caught!
So I haven't been able to really get online as of the past handful of days, mainly because the weather's been brutal [hello? 28 degrees at 5 A.M.!?], which has in turn gotten me sick. Once again, I've been rendered voiceless. And it freckin' sucks. I hate it, big time. So, my apologies on being miserably slack on the blog lately. I am going to do my best to make it up, God willing the weather improves as does my health.
In the meantime, here's some tuneage--what I've been listening to as of lately. The Songs [yes, PLURAL this time] of the Week.
I was going to spotlight them in this week's Thursday Tradition but, falling ill, that wasn't going to happen. Next chance I have a Thursday Tradition they will definitely get their glow. In the meantime, here's one of my faves that I've been listening to from these guys. "I Will Not Take These Things For Granted" - Toad the Wet Sprocket
My friend Ry got me addicted to this song last night. I haven't really stopped listening to it... yet. Goin' back about 12 years for this brilliant tune. "Little Wonder" - David Bowie
I plan on doing a Thursday Tradition featuring them in the future, hopefully soon. Though maybe I'll wait until April--for the two-year anniversary of seeing these guys live. They're a fantastic group, nice sort of fellows too. "Perpetual" - VNV Nation
At least 10 years ago this group kinda stole my heart. I miss this group. A lot. They're kinda on hiatus but, I've just rediscovered them earlier this week. They're next up in line on the Thursday Tradition spotlight, following Toad the Wet Sprocket. "Made to Last" - Semisonic
And finally, glancing back quickly into the previous Thursday Tradition spotlight, the Cocteau Twins--this being from the '81 album Garlands, it's the first track on it. I actually got to listen to it some this week and, it's not bad really. Me liketh. "Blood Bitch" - The Cocteau Twins
Enjoy the tuneage. And think kindly of me--I still can't quite talk for beans. Damn.
Shaddup, I know it's Friday. *LOL* But, unfortunately, it's been a rather long week--in fact I'd no time yesterday, after a very long day which included 9 hours at work and then visiting Mom at her office, and was practically exhausted when all was said and done. So, it's a special Day-after-Thursday Tradition, and as promised it's spotlighting the amazing Cocteau Twins. This time around, I'm doing a double-take special Tradition--posting the originals and the BBC Sessions versions so you can pick for yourselves the favorite versions of some of the brilliant songs. I'm staunchly picky about these, don't ask why. *LOL*
I guess one could almost say, depends on how you want your tuneage. Some songs, both versions sound quite similar. Other songs, the versions are different in some form or another. Depends on your preference. Heh
Ready? Kinda thought so...
"Wax and Wane" ~ Original - "Garlands" [album, 1982]
~ BBC Session [15 July 1982]
"Blind Dumb Deaf" ~ Original - "Garlands" [album, 1982]
~ BBC Session [31 January 1983]
"The Tinderbox [of a Heart]" ~ Original - "Head Over Heels" [album, 1983]
~ BBC Session [my birthday! 4 October 1983]
"In Our Angelhood" ~ Original - "Head Over Heels" [album, 1983]
~ BBC Session [10 October 1983]
"Pepper-Tree" ~ Original - "The Spangle-Maker" [EP, 1984]
~ BBC Session [5 September 1984]
"Beatrix" ~ Original - "Treasure" [album, 1984]
~ BBC Session [5 September 1984]
"Serpentskirt" ~ Original - "Milk and Kisses" [album, 1996]
~ BBC Session [12 March 1996]
"Violaine" ~ Original - "Milk and Kisses" [album, 1996]
~ BBC Session [10 April 1996]
Oh and, this week's Song of the Week, another Twins tune, and a favorite of mine for a long time. This is from the album "Four-Calendar Cafe" released in... 1996, I believe... "Know Who You Are At Every Age" - The Cocteau Twins
Well... I've been trying to get a hold on the boyfriend and, so far no luck so, until then I'll be enjoying the tuneage. And you should too.
This week's Song of the Week is... well... a taste of the Twins for you. And by far more interesting and almost passionate than the original version, even though it's an awesome song.
"Violaine" [BBC Session version] - The Cocteau Twins
To which I say, I don't give a damn if you can't understand what in the world Liz Fraser is saying. Her voice is that of the most beautiful--and perhaps the most dangerous and lethal--of the Mythical Sirens. And the way this song was performed... one can't sense the raw energy into this I don't know what else to tell you...
So I've decided to finally put numbers to my Thursday Traditions, starting with today, the first day of the New Year! Happy 2009 to you all, fellow Underground Citizens!! And of course, with the Thursday Tradition you know how random we like to rock things...
The Starian Union Random 20 ~ Thursday 1 January 2009 1] "Your Woman" - White Town 2] "Angel Dust" - New Order 3] "Get Innocuous!" [Soulwax Remix] - LCD Soundsystem 4] "The Perfect Love" - Hibernate 5] "Black and White Town" - The Doves 6] "Transmission" - Joy Division 7] "The Back of Love" - Echo and the Bunnymen 8] "Doctorin' the Tardis" - The Timelords [KLF] 9] "Scratch" - Contagion 10] "New York" - Micro Chip League 11] "Enjoy the Silence" - Depeche Mode 12] "Headhunter" - Front 242 13] "Mizerable" - Gackt 14] "Dominion/Mother Russia" - Sisters of Mercy 15] "Dream of You" - Schiller 16] "Kingdom" - VNV Nation 17] "Who's Your Daddy" - Benny Benassi 18] "Pioneers" - Bloc Party 19] "Sex on Fire" - Kings of Leon 20] "Synthesize and Divide" - The Synthetic Divide
And, my top tune this week--which kinda took me some time to find. I'd forgotten just how awesome the Doves were until today! "Black and White Town" - The Doves *Song of the Week [Final 2008/First 2009]*
Happy New Year to one and all! And who knows? Maybe I'll have more to say in the next handful of days or so. :-)
I know that Christmas is only two days away, but this is my Christmas "broadcast" as, after today, I will be ridiculously, miserably busy. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and Thursday is Christmas Day. Unfortunately I will be drop-dead stressed and tired to even try to enjoy the holiday. And it doesn't help that Store Manager Joel has scheduled the Christmas party at work for TOMORROW!! That doesn't start until 2 tomorrow afternoon; and on top of that I have to work at 5 in the morning anyway, which means after I clock out I gotta run across the street to Publix to get chips and either salsa or hummus. Which is what I signed myself up to bring anyway.
Mom also has to pick me up from my workplace, as I'm to be staying over at the parents' for Christmas [HEY! Robbie's always fcuking exempt from that; WTF gives, Mom!?]. Which means whatever laundry and packing-up I've needed to do tomorrow I have to get done tonight! And that includes packing up what I'll be wearing tomorrow night AND Christmas Day.
Hold up--which reminds me: Mom [or Dad] is dropping me off tomorrow evening at the Choir Room for Christmas Eve service rehearsal. That's at 9 P.M., with the service starting with the Choir singing for half an hour at 10:30 P.M., and by the time I'm back at the parents it'll be 1 A.M. Christmas freckin' morning.
And, with my luck, my little brother and sister will be waking me up six hours later with, Jenn, time to wake up and open presents! So I'll be next to comatose AND miserable about it all. Christmas Morning service at 10 A.M., possibly back at the parents' for another hour or two after that, and then finally HOME. *sigh* And with all hopes that Roboter's Christmas present and mine for him have arrived on freckin' time. And then it's back to work on Friday [we're closed for Christmas], for that and the next two days at least, so I'll have to miss another Sunday of Church quite like I did this past Sunday.
So yes, needless to say, by the time it's all over, Christmas will have come and gone, and I will have had no chance in hell to celebrate it. Basically, it's going to be anything but merry for me. And this is my only opportunity to send out a Christmas blogpost before I get stormed for the season.
My only wish is that, everyone has a wonderful time, in spite of the circumstances, in spite of whatever wrong could be going on in the world in this season.
*sigh* I'm sorry, but it's being very difficult to be happy when it's Christmas, this time around. To be honest, I've felt like crying all afternoon. And I have. But it doesn't seem enough to cry just once; I've constantly been fighting tears that's been building up from frustration, from stress--from work, from the family, from... from life. LIFE! Enough to just break me down... inside, it just hurts. Never mind the fact that I dyed my hair purple this week, or that Hanukkah started wonderfully on Sunday night. Never mind the fact that the only presents I've been able to handle were Christmas cards and a Scrapbook I slaved myself tremendously for. Never mind the fact that I can't even slow down enough to enjoy the holiday because of the deaths that took its tolls on me, people that I know whose tables will be missing someone because the Great Presence that is Death. Never mind the fact that... that I just don't feel happy, at all, for Christmas, no matter how hard I try!
Never mind the fact that words can't even express just how I feel right now.
So, this song, I'm sending it out to all of you. I know I shared the Pretenders' version last week but, I think... this version seems proper for the season. If ever, while you hear this, your heart should tug, if ever tears should well up in your own eyes, if ever your memories overwhelm... let the tears fall. I'm right there with you, because the pain is different but the wish is still the same. Maybe the tears are for different reasons on our ends but, if ever your heart shares my same sorrow, then shed a tear. But never mind me--
I'm just someone trying to muddle through somehow...
"Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" - James Taylor
From my heart, from the heart of the Underground, to your hearts and those of yours, the Happiest of Holidays, the Merriest of Christmases.
Welcome to the special pre-Christmas edition of the Thursday Tradition. It is approximately ONE BLOODY WEEK until Christmas day, and what way to rock the house than with a quirky celebration filled with a whimsically proper assortment of tunage? I have kinda postponed the Random 20 because, with so much going on, it's a bit insane. But anywho...
Yes, it's time to deck--erm, rock the halls...
"Winter Wonderland" - The Cocteau Twins
"Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" - The Pretenders
*Song of the Week!!* "Christmas Wrapping" - The Waitresses
"Christmastime Is Here" [instrumental version] - The Vince Guaraldi Trio
"Frosty The Snowman" - The Cocteau Twins
AND, a little bonus showdown--the original versus the cover! Both are awesome and, quite frankly I'm going for the cover as I heard this before the original. But, hey! I want your opinion about which version's better. Sooo...
The Original: "Oi! to the World" - The Vandals
The Cover: "Oi! to the World" - No Doubt
And there y'all have it, enjoy the tunage and, until the next round... be good... Santa's on the list-checkin' these days...
So you'd expect me to have a brilliant half-week so far, except... well, surprise-surprise.
Reposting from the Rant of the Day thread [that I quaintly started] on the Opacity forum...
This week's been a pissload and it's only half over! The original grill oven at work died between Monday night and yesterday morning, so we had the back-up oven sent from another store. THAT stopped working last night, and I know because I returned to work on a calendar for the crew while all hell broke loose! And between wrong times for updates and my store manager Joel in absolute PMS-mode TODAY over all the chaos of the week, uhm... yeah...
Oh and, here's the best part--I've got Friday off [uhm, yay, but WHY!?], but I work Saturday. Followed IMMEDIATELY by yet ANOTHER post-mortem service [#5 for the year] and then it's back to the workplace to meet up with the crew walking in the Christmas parade later that night!
And never mind the fact that I'm living paycheck to paycheck so I won't be able to buy Christmas presents this year. I'm surprised I could afford the box of cards and some stamps.
I really wish I could drop dead, but I can't 'cause I have to keep pressing on. But here's probably the only proper place for me to rant [besides the blog], because there really hasn't been anything good this week to think on. And I really don't want to end up ranting to my boyfriend every time the day goes to hell. Yes, I've already cried a bit today, but I don't want to overwhelm my boyfriend and get on his nerves by bitching about today. Because, I'll be honest:
Life fucking sucks right now.
*sigh* So there. Basically this week in a nutshell. I still need to mend my burn-turned-cut, and I'm starting to lose excitement over this Saturday night's Christmas parade in Downtown DeLand.
Monday we got our monthly newsletters from the store owners with the dates and times for when our store was closing early for construction/remodeling for the rest of the coffee stuff. So when I worked on the Enthusiasm Calendar for the crew yesterday and checked for the times with Supervisor Chris he was like, "Shine [*yes, chris is the only person that is allowed to call me Shine and get away with it*], the times... wait. Let me see that newsletter." I showed the newsletter to him and he's like, "Bloody hell... I mean, the dates are correct... the times are all wrong!" So of course I'm somewhat irritated. He hasn't gotten back to me yet with the correct times, so I've got basically no clue as to the whens in case the other crewfolk ask.
On my way home from work a second time [this time it was at 9:30 last night after visiting for a couple of hours, dinner, and finishing the calendar somewhat], I tried to get a hold of Roboter to let him know I was on my way home. First time around, after one ring: voicemail. The two or three times after that: straight to vociemail. So great--I was late trying to get a hold of him, and mind you I told him I'd call him when the calendar drama was over. So never mind the fact that I got a bit more frustrated over that! [Which, I know, sometimes those minor ill glitches are part of the whole relationship. But still... still!! Yeah, I'm over that minor problem because I called someone else to help "walk" me home.]
So maybe it was a good idea that I didn't get a hold of him last night because maybe he wouldn't have to hear me rant about the day as a whole. Except just now I've ranted about him so... *sigh*
Saturday is the memorial service for fellow Chorister Bobbie's mom. Terry and Steffi are picking me up from work on Saturday, and then it's back to work for the gathering so the parade legion can make it to the parade line-up together, as a group. Then after the parade it's a sleepover party at Sissy-Boo's place, and Sissy-Too's daughter Amber is staying over too. So hopefully I won't be entirely exhausted so that I can enjoy the time with the gals.
*sigh* So yes, that was my rant. I ranted about life, and work, and the boyfriend, and this week. And now I actually feel better enough to get to Discipleship class. But still...
[A minor note--Roboter, I'm sorry I had to plunker you into the rant, but I've been having a rather frustrating week, time hasn't been very kind to me, and neither has been life or God. And it kinda hurts when the one person I can count on to be there when the day is done... well... isn't there. I still love you--I just wanted to let you know why I had to rant about you. As I said, this week's been a long one.]
Sooo... in closing, and considering all that I've been through, two songs by Liam Lynch...
This is dedicated to the current state of things... "United States of Whatever" - Liam Lynch
And this being my Song of the Week, is dedicated to the few people that's gotten on my bad side which, this week, ranged from very annoyed to duck and fucking cover... "The Happy Song" - Liam Lynch
*whew* Okay. Ranting done. On with the second half of my week.
Welcome, Underground Citizens, to another Thursday Tradition post. One week from today exactly it'll be Thanksgiving day and, I do have info concerning that actually. Pay very close attention to the following schedule for the next handful of days:
Tomorrow [Friday 21 November] - The new alto in our Choir, Chrissy, has a concert with the Stetson University Orchestra and, Ani thinks she'd appreciate it if I made an appearance. Sooo... that's where I'll be tomorrow evening. Don't worry, I'll blog up though. Saturday 22 November - Family holiday picture day. It'll possibly be hectic, but as [Step]Mom's trying to get the main core of the family together--which means my bigger younger brother Robbie better be done with work ASAP!--for this, I'm hoping it'll go alright with not too many problems. Sunday 23 November - The Celebration of Christ the King. Choir raising the Church roof up a few feet AGAIN; it's also early Thanksgiving Dinner at Grandma Sharon's. Monday 24 November - Work, possibly blog AND/OR decorate the workplace for Thanksgiving. Tuesday 25 November - Work, packing up for going out-of-town the next day. Wednesday 26 November - Work in the A.M. to early P.M., leaving later on for the South Carolina/Georgia border, somewhere along that area, for Thanksgiving. This is also going to be my final post until Sunday 30 November, and the Thursday Tradition will also be moved over to this day in light of the Thanksgiving Holiday the following day. Thursday 27 November - Happy Thanksgiving Day!! Friday 28 November - Still out of town... Saturday 29 November - Returning to Florida. I won't have time to blog as I'll probably be so busy getting adjusted for the next day which will be... Sunday 30 November - First Sunday of Advent. Also there's an Evensong at 4 in the afternoon so it's back to the Choir Room at 3 for practice. I'll be fairly exhausted by the time it's all over. What a way to end the month of November...
Speaking of Grandma Sharon, I'd received word earlier today via the Prayer Chain I'm involved with that, Grandma Sharon's sister-in-law Auntie Sue has been diagnosed with multiple cancers. And unfortunately the prognosis is not good either. So please--I mean PLEASE--keep my family [and particularly Auntie Sue] in your warm thoughts and prayers.
*whew* That said... the Starian Union Random 20 for today, Thursday 20 November 2008... Theme: Sisters of Mercy 1] "Marian" 2] "Alice" 3] "I Was Wrong" 4] "Watch" 5] "Flood II" 6] "Nine While Nine" 7] "Train" 8] "Something Fast" 9] "Phantom" 10] "Anaconda" 11] "Valentine" 12] "Walk Away" 13] "Long Train" 14] "Lucretia My Reflection" [Extended Single] 15] "Temple of Love" [1992] 16] "This Corrosion" 17] "Dominion/Mother Russia" 18] "Body Electric" 19] "Burn" 20] "Body and Soul"
The Song of the Week, meanwhile, has NOTHING to do with the SoM... "Love" - The Sundays
I'm about to put a mix of the Sundays together for next week's roadtrip. The Sundays will be my band of the week for next week's Thursday Tradition which, in the case of next week, will be the Turkey Tradition. The playlist will consist of tracks from their first two albums, Reading, Writing and Arithmetic [from 1990] and Blind [from 1992]. Their third and last album [which was Static and Silence from 1997] wasn't quite so good, so I'm sticking to their essential stuff. Which would be those two albums right there. [By the way, "Here's Where The Story Ends" is from RW+A and "Love" is from Blind so, there ya go.]
*sigh* Well, alrighty. I think I need to take a walk or something. In any case, I'll be around until next Wednesday. Hopefully things will improve with Auntie Sue...
The funeral Saturday went alright. I can't really say much else other than, the pain's a little greater than I can bear right now.
I could really use a distraction. Until then...
There is a quaint and proper halo, when the tears can't be cried, when the pain can't be said enough, when the hurt isn't worth the words--
a silver lining in the clouds of despair, in the dark sky of sorrow, that silver lining being hope,
the assurance of faith in things greater than the pain.
To the few and many that have passed on, to leave friends and loved ones behind, but not without leaving sweet reminders of the reward for keeping the faith...
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
~ Ani's mother ~ ~ Rabbit's mother ~ ~ Choir Ducky's niece ~ ~ Connie's husband ~ ~ Corky's husband ~ ~ Hester ~ ~ Juan's dad ~ ~ Jeff's dad ~ ~ Taubin's two pet dogs Lulu and Bozo ~ ~ Ben's dog [forgot the name--sorry] ~ ~ Sissy Too's dad ~ ~ Normita's brother ~ ~ Sarah's daughter's cousin ~ ~ Paul's dad ~ ~ Andie's dad ~ ~ Tabbsy's uncle ~ ~ Shajohnna's aunt ~ ~ Elena's father ~ ~ Anne's father-in-law ~
"Love" ~ The Sundays *song of the week*
May they and all the souls of the faithful departed, by the Mercy of God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, rest in peace, light perpetual ever shining upon them.
Amen.
I think that, finally, I have begun to move on. Again.
...or, welcome to the special Sisters of Mercy edition of the Thursday Tradition, Underground Citizens. Okay okay, so the title of this week's Thursday Tradition isn't the best or most original but, I've been trying to put this blogpost together for at least a freckin' hour now. And I'll admit, it's not an easy task when I don't have a whole lot of SoM in possession. But currently I have the album First and Last and Always, and a few more of their songs, and if this doesn't delve me further into the gothic side of me then I don't know what band will! [Er, other than the Division, the Cure, the Banshees...]
To start off, a song that I gave some quaint showing-off time a couple of days ago... "Flood II" [from Floodland, 1987]
All I can say is, this song is the ish... "Body and Soul" [from the EP Body and Soul, 1984]
If you can handle all bloody 10 minutes of this, crank this grand goth anthem up full blast, Citizens... "This Corrosion" [from Floodland, 1987]
Now while I'm not entirely fond of this song, hey, it's not that bad. [That's what happens when you try to share a bit of everything in this...] "Alice" [from the EP Alice, 1983]
Another reason why I love that first album by the SoM. "Possession" [from First and Last and Always, 1985]
Taking another '87 tune, I don't understand how this tune didn't get much playing time. It's a very good song, honest... "Lucretia My Reflection" [from Floodland, 1987]
Another early something... "On The Wire" [from the Walk Away 12", 1984]
Something about this song. Can't put my finger on it. "Nine While Nine" [from First and Last and Always, 1985]
Kicking up the adrenaline... just a tiny little bit... "Dominion/Mother Russia" [from Floodland, 1987]
I don't remember what year the original came out, but I definitely like this version better than the original. In any case, the track is class. "Temple of Love" [1992 remake] [from the compilation Some Girls Wander By Mistake]
For me, I'm sorry, but it's NOT a Sisters of Mercy StarMix without this track. Second only to this week's Song of the Week, it's my favorite SoM tune. It was the tune that introduced me to 'em. I'd heard it so many times while at Indie Bar, but never knew who did that or what the song was. I fcuking love this song. "More" [from Vision Thing, 1990]
Song of the Week ~ This song's been replaying in my head since Sunday. I now have the album First, Last and Always and, while much of the album if not all is quite the gothique, I haven't really stopped listening to this track... "Marian" [from First and Last and Always, 1985]
...and there you have it! Yup, between all the hunting and typing and listening to the SoM and catching up... gosh... when did I start putting this together? It's almost 20 after 8 P.M. right now SO... 5:33 P.M.!?
So yes, I spent almost 3 hours on this week's Thursday Tradition. Hopefully it serves the Sisters proud. Or something. I think Roboter will be most humored.
Mondays start the new workweek. Wednesdays tend to differ, depending on if I need to work or not--usually I'm off, and usually visiting "Uncle" Joseph. Thursdays is the Daughters of the King meeting night. Fridays and Saturdays are normally hectic--never the same drama twice. Sundays = Church day. I update the blog accordingly, with a rant or two, the occasional music post, and sometimes the most random nonsuch.
So stay tuned, because things are fixing to get interesting... and, save your forks--the best is yet to come...
