*sigh* Alright. It's official. I miss my Choirmaster. No, not the new one either, Dr. Rich may be our Choirmaster but he's not my Choirmaster. There's a difference--and a big one in fact.
Yes, I miss my friend Awesome'ness. Like, a lot.
Because it's not the same when I don't have him to talk to every Sunday anymore. In fact... well, the last time we talked... it was in May. And he told me that he wouldn't be too far away. And yet... well, we did exchange a couple of e-mails in June. But then he had his excursion to France. And, well... we haven't really talked since.
It's just not the same anymore. All I can do is sigh in quiet grief and talk about him every now and then. Sprocket knows about Awesome'ness, and he laughs at me when I get all giggle-happy talking about him [Awesome'ness]. Yeah, Sprocket thinks it's cute when his girlfriend gets giggle-happy. I suppose I don't blame him. But... still...
I wonder how Awesome'ness is doing. It hurts when all that remains are music, memories and pictures. We [the Choir] just rehearsed one of his pieces yesterday morning... I almost wanted to cry.
*sigh* Yeah. It's official. I miss my Choirmaster.
Dear Awesome'ness...
I wonder how you're doing. What's new? How's life? How's life teaching at the University?
How are you? I miss you. Like, a lot.
We've begun to raise the Church Roof as a Choir with the new Choirmaster, but he could never be my Choirmaster, my good friend. He could never be you.
It never hurts to hear from you once in a while.
Missing...
~ me
Showing posts with label Letters to the Choirmaster. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Letters to the Choirmaster. Show all posts
06 September 2010
06 June 2010
Chapter 244 ~ Two Weeks Later
Song of the Day|"Wonderwall" - Oasis
I miss looking at the world and laughing at it [with him].
I miss having a moment of slight confusion [with him].
I miss talking about random, silly nonsuch [with him].
I miss taking on the world fearlessly [with him].
Two weeks after we said, "I'll see you later,"
my heart has never felt more broken.
It hurts sometimes...
Dear Peter,
The Choir has only been on vacation two weeks. I miss you already. And of course I feel all the more pathetic about it. I guess I'm still smitten over you, or perhaps I just miss one of my best buddies. But, it's not the same without you.
I have been facing the world more boldly, more courageously, more fearlessly. But on the other hand, I don't have many people to share my adventures with, or get a good cheerful chin-up. So, my summer it seems is off to a bit of a rough start.
Things are not the same without you. I am, while still a crazy kick-butt punk, still a coward. But I think of you... well, I think of you a lot. And I have memories to keep me smiling, and your words and lessons I learned from you to encourage me. I am sure that the Choir feels that same way, of missing and remembering you.
So far there has been no word about who the new Choirmaster will be. Already I am worried, almost nervous, because I don't know who [s]he will be or what [s]he is like. I don't even know if anything's gone on concerning that. The most I can do is trust in God and pray for the best.
How are you and Eric? How are things? How is your summer [so far]?
I miss you [but you already know that].
~ "Sunshine"
I miss looking at the world and laughing at it [with him].
I miss having a moment of slight confusion [with him].
I miss talking about random, silly nonsuch [with him].
I miss taking on the world fearlessly [with him].
Two weeks after we said, "I'll see you later,"
my heart has never felt more broken.
It hurts sometimes...
Dear Peter,
The Choir has only been on vacation two weeks. I miss you already. And of course I feel all the more pathetic about it. I guess I'm still smitten over you, or perhaps I just miss one of my best buddies. But, it's not the same without you.
I have been facing the world more boldly, more courageously, more fearlessly. But on the other hand, I don't have many people to share my adventures with, or get a good cheerful chin-up. So, my summer it seems is off to a bit of a rough start.
Things are not the same without you. I am, while still a crazy kick-butt punk, still a coward. But I think of you... well, I think of you a lot. And I have memories to keep me smiling, and your words and lessons I learned from you to encourage me. I am sure that the Choir feels that same way, of missing and remembering you.
So far there has been no word about who the new Choirmaster will be. Already I am worried, almost nervous, because I don't know who [s]he will be or what [s]he is like. I don't even know if anything's gone on concerning that. The most I can do is trust in God and pray for the best.
How are you and Eric? How are things? How is your summer [so far]?
I miss you [but you already know that].
~ "Sunshine"
24 May 2010
Chapter 243 ~ My Heart to Compromise?
Song of the Moment|"The Back of Love" - Echo and the Bunnymen
Song of the Day|"Love Plus One" - Haircut 100
I have realised something, something highly important about myself, as I sit and check my e-mail and Facebook and all that. Between that and having a unexpected conversation with Siren...
it seems that my heart is still the subject of questioning, in a sense.
For the better part of the last couple of months, my heart's been in limbo and a f@#ked-up mess. Between Orin messing my heart over, two exes wanting me for only one thing, and one other ex wanting me back altogether... not to mention the fact that I don't know how to tell them all off without being a complete bitch at the risk of losing the friendships entirely... and never mind the fact that I can't get a date anyway so I just stay home and hide...
yeah. Somehow I'm just glad I'm single. I mean, I want something that's gonna be more about some proper intelligent conversations than the physical attaction. Now I'm not saying I'm going after the ugly guys--hell now. I'm just saying, yeah, I should be able to hold an intelligent conversation with him and not want to get in his pants, and vice versa. I refuse to compromise my heart to someone that just wants to get in my pants and not even commit.
So right now, my nerve's a bit edgy. But I don't want to compromise my heart to anyone or anything. I don't want anything less of a worthwhile relationship. But the problem is... right now, the way things are looking, my outlook's turned more of a DO NOT WANT as far as that's concerned. I'm still afraid to trust anyone that much to get close to. Especially after what Orin did to me... yeah. He's pretty much screwed things up for sure.
On a lighter note...
...
...
...oh hell. There really isn't much of a lighter note today. I'm too irritated and exhausted to even think of anything good going on right now. Other than the obvious fact that I'm alive. I suppose that alone will suffice.
Dear, dear Peter...
Today was the first day of a new season of solitude. It's been rough. I don't have much of a clue as to how to swat a few longing exes away without hurting them. And this isn't the first time this has happened, but I was too much trying to smile and be happy yesterday to not even think about it. So I didn't tell you about it.
Work was hectic to say the least today. I nonetheless made it through the day, and am home safely and in one piece [for the most part anyway].
And, I have realised that, I will not compromise my heart for anyone or anything. Sadly though, I am left almost wishing that there were more guys in the world like you. I don't know... maybe I'm just stuck in a moment of wishful thinking. Or who knows? But, in any case, I will not compromise my heart. Ever. And you know this.
I hope your summer is off to a good start. When are you heading out for France? Take lots of pictures--I wanna see!!! Please and Thank you!!!
Love always...
~ me
Song of the Day|"Love Plus One" - Haircut 100
I have realised something, something highly important about myself, as I sit and check my e-mail and Facebook and all that. Between that and having a unexpected conversation with Siren...
it seems that my heart is still the subject of questioning, in a sense.
For the better part of the last couple of months, my heart's been in limbo and a f@#ked-up mess. Between Orin messing my heart over, two exes wanting me for only one thing, and one other ex wanting me back altogether... not to mention the fact that I don't know how to tell them all off without being a complete bitch at the risk of losing the friendships entirely... and never mind the fact that I can't get a date anyway so I just stay home and hide...
yeah. Somehow I'm just glad I'm single. I mean, I want something that's gonna be more about some proper intelligent conversations than the physical attaction. Now I'm not saying I'm going after the ugly guys--hell now. I'm just saying, yeah, I should be able to hold an intelligent conversation with him and not want to get in his pants, and vice versa. I refuse to compromise my heart to someone that just wants to get in my pants and not even commit.
So right now, my nerve's a bit edgy. But I don't want to compromise my heart to anyone or anything. I don't want anything less of a worthwhile relationship. But the problem is... right now, the way things are looking, my outlook's turned more of a DO NOT WANT as far as that's concerned. I'm still afraid to trust anyone that much to get close to. Especially after what Orin did to me... yeah. He's pretty much screwed things up for sure.
On a lighter note...
...
...
...oh hell. There really isn't much of a lighter note today. I'm too irritated and exhausted to even think of anything good going on right now. Other than the obvious fact that I'm alive. I suppose that alone will suffice.
Dear, dear Peter...
Today was the first day of a new season of solitude. It's been rough. I don't have much of a clue as to how to swat a few longing exes away without hurting them. And this isn't the first time this has happened, but I was too much trying to smile and be happy yesterday to not even think about it. So I didn't tell you about it.
Work was hectic to say the least today. I nonetheless made it through the day, and am home safely and in one piece [for the most part anyway].
And, I have realised that, I will not compromise my heart for anyone or anything. Sadly though, I am left almost wishing that there were more guys in the world like you. I don't know... maybe I'm just stuck in a moment of wishful thinking. Or who knows? But, in any case, I will not compromise my heart. Ever. And you know this.
I hope your summer is off to a good start. When are you heading out for France? Take lots of pictures--I wanna see!!! Please and Thank you!!!
Love always...
~ me
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